What Is Your Ideal Lifestyle…
Discover What Is and What is To Be on Your Journey of Life…
Click the two cards below to see what Present and Future you have drawn. Then click again to get the description and recommendations for your specific situation. Watch for follow-up emails with even more information to guide you…
Be sure to write down the names of your two cards, so you can access additional information later.
Passive Income Lifestyle
This card will tell you how things are now…


Ayuwi Circle
Relationship
Overview
Imagine a world in which you are completely alone. No other people. No animals or plants. No other life of any kind. And no inanimate objects of any kind, either. Sounds pretty desolate, to be sure. And yet, if you think about it for a moment, you might ask yourself this question: in the absence of all these things, how would you know who YOU really are?
It is a perplexing question, one well worth considering, for it brings us all face-to-face with a head-slapping realization: that we need all those other things (people, animals, inanimate objects, and so on) in our lives so that we can relate to them. And by relating to all those entities, we get to experience ourselves for who we really are.
That is what Ayuwi Circle teaches us: that Relationship is the single most powerful tool available to us in the physical realm for fully expressing and experiencing who we really are. In other words, relationships—all relationships—are sacred!
Situation
You are struggling in your relationship with someone close to you. The two of you are having difficulty communicating, and some of your interactions have been devolving into confrontation, argument, or unpleasant finger-pointing. This is causing you a lot of personal discomfort and upset, and you are not sure what to do about it. Perhaps you are even entertaining thoughts of terminating the relationship altogether.
Recommendation
The first thing you must do is decide how important this relationship is to you; the more important it is, the greater your desire to find a path to mutual healing. One way to gauge the degree of importance it so notice how upset you are about the situation; the more pain you are feeling, the greater the likelihood that you value this relationship a lot.
Answer the following questions to help guide your next steps:
- How important is this relationship to me?
- What is it about the current circumstances that has me most upset?
- How have I contributed to the current situation?
- Am I trying to make myself right in this situation? Am I trying to make <other person> wrong in the process?
- Have I been trying to get <other person> to change who he/she is? Am I willing to live with the possibility that s/he might never change?
- What actions can I take now to create a space for healing to occur?
You might not like some of the answers you come up with, but at least you will have raised your Awareness about your own part in the situation. If you do value the relationship and wish to create healing with the other person, then you can set the following intention for yourself, and maybe even communicate it to your relationship partner:
I really value this relationship and I want to empower both of us to be fully active participants in it. I want to create space for both of us to be heard, no matter what might be going on for us. For my part, I commit to speaking my own truth without in any way holding you responsible for what I might be experiencing. I also commit to listening to your truth from my heart, without condition or judgment.
If you approach your relationship partner with this kind of intention, you will quickly begin the process of mutual healing.

For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Easy Do-It-Yourself
This card will tell you how things are now…


Base Camp
Awareness
Overview
When you are about to set out on a journey, before you can ever hope to know how to get where you want to go, you must first be very clear about where you are right now. In other words, you must make sure you know as much as possible about your current situation, conditions, environment and circumstances.
This is Awareness, the foundational skill of Life Mastery Way. Because it is so important, we learn about it first at our centering and grounding station, what we call Base Camp. Your objective is to bring Awareness into every aspect of your life and, as much as possible, keep it present in every moment. This means being aware of what is going on in your surroundings, and also within you—that is, your emotions, thoughts and sensations.
Situation
Lately, you have been operating much like a sleep-walker. That is, you have slipped into an unconscious behavior pattern; it may seem as if you are flying on auto-pilot. Obviously, you have not done this deliberately, but you are probably experiencing moments where you think things like these:
- How did I get here? I don’t remember the last 30 minutes.
- I am way off-kilter here; I seem to be bouncing around from one thing to another with no sense of direction.
- I am totally confused and disoriented; I need to get back on track.
Recommendation
It is important to stop whatever you are doing, at least until you can bring more Awareness into your current situation. Find a quiet place where you can sit and relax. Take a few deep cleansing breaths and bring awareness to all aspects of your situation.
External Inventory
Take stock of everything around you, and bring your focus to as many details as possible. Notice the shapes and colors of all objects around you. Notice the temperature of the room or the space. If you are outdoors, take not of the details of the weather conditions. Are there people or animals around, or are you alone? What kind of objects are around you? Just notice as much as you can without making up any story or drawing any judgments or conclusions about any of it.
Internal Inventory
Now bring your attention to your body. Notice any physical sensations that you might be feeling: cold/hot, relaxed/tense, hungry, clammy, shivery, etc. Again, avoid any judgment or interpretation; just take stock.
Next, notice the emotions that you are feeling. Try to limit your words to one of the four primary emotions: sadness, fear, anger, or joy. Is it a strong or weak emotion at this time? How long have you been feeling this emotion? Again, no judgment; just observation.
Finally, bring your attention to your thoughts. What are you thinking? Are your thoughts related to a common theme? Do you notice a judgmental or interpretational quality to your thoughts? How long have these thoughts been present in your mind?
Introspection
Now that you have elevated your awareness about your current internal and external state, take a few moments to see if you can peek under the covers and find out more about how you came to be in this state. Here are a few questions you can ask yourself—remember not to judge yourself for your current state:
- How did I attract my current situation into my life?
- What is the purpose for my current behavior?
- In what ways are my thoughts, words, actions and emotions aligned with my purpose?
- In what ways are they out of alignment?
- Do I wish to change this situation? If so, what new choice will I make?
Final Steps
Once you are complete with this process, take some time to honor yourself for having had sufficient
Awareness to know that you were operating unconsciously, and for having the courage to look inside to find out what was really going on. Notice how you are feeling now, and take this new feeling into the next phase of your life.

For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Easy Do-It-For-You…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…


Nama Station
Forgiveness
Overview
When we are caught up in the dramas of our ego-minds, it is easy for us to fall into the habit of playing the BS Game—that is, the “Blame-Shame Game”. When someone else does something that causes us discomfort, upset or pain, we put ourselves into the role of victim and the other person into the role of perpetrator. In this way, we give all our power away to the perpetrator—who may not even be aware of the fact that s/he has done something “wrong”. In allowing ourselves to slip into this finger-pointing pattern, we often end up creating even more pain and upset for ourselves, while secretly hoping for the other person to suffer.
Nama Station teaches us about the powerful healing capabilities of Forgiveness, a tool whose sole purpose is to give ourselves permission to release ourselves from our own pain and suffering. When we forgive, it really has nothing to do with the so-called perpetrator! It is really all about letting go of something over which we have no control, and—without forgetting or condoning or agreeing with actual bad behavior—releasing ourselves from the prison of our own negative thinking, and reclaiming our power.
Situation
Someone in your life will do something that directly impacts you in a negative or malicious or painful way. A person with whom you are personally or professionally involved will do something that violates your boundaries in some way or breaks a trust with you. You will find yourself doing a lot of repair work to clean up the damage, so this situation may also result in damage to your name or your reputation.
Recommendation
Knowing that you are on a collision course with an unpleasant and potentially painful interaction with someone can certainly be unnerving. However, worrying about what might or might not happen in the future is not a very productive (or effective) way to prepare for it. As someone on a path to Life Mastery, you are certainly more interested in living your life in the present moment as much as possible.
So how can you prepare for this kind of event in your life? In a word, Pre-Forgiveness. That’s right, forgiveness in advance. It may sound a little strange, but it is a powerful tool that you can engage any time you find yourself worrying about something that someone in your life might do. Here’s how it works:
- Imagine that you are in the future and the event has already happened, bringing with it whatever discomfort, unpleasantness, or pain it might have contained. Imagine that you have already experienced your reaction or response to the situation and that you understand this person was doing something out of his/her own fear or pain and wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt you.
- Notice how you feel about all that has happened. Just be with the feelings that show up within you and allow them to pass through you.
- Notice any judgments you may have about the other person, and allow them to pass as well.
- Tap into your own powerful sense of compassion, recognize that you too have done things like this that caused pain for others, and begin to feel unconditional love flowing from your heart to the heart of the other person.
- Say the words out loud: “I forgive you”. See yourself offering this gift of forgiveness to the other person, without condition, without expectation of any particular result.
Bring yourself back to the present moment, and notice how you feel now, having actively forgiven this person. Realize that you completed this process without even knowing for sure who the other person might be. There is great power in this Pre-Forgiveness process and you can use it anytime, anywhere. Let this be an ongoing practice for you on your continuing path to Life Mastery.

For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Assetizing…
This card will tell you how things are now…


Garden of Mercy
Compassion
Overview
It is pretty obvious that there is a lot of suffering in the world around us. And only the coldest of people would fail to feel empathy for this suffering, or to desire to find a way—no matter how small—to relieve it, or better yet, to eradicate it altogether. This internal drive to soothe or eliminate obvious suffering is what most of us recognize as Compassion, the key skill taught in Garden of Mercy. Compassion is a powerful force that, according to the Dalai Lama, is actually a primary pathway to happiness.
Ironically, while most of us have no difficulty experiencing or expressing compassion for others, all too often we have difficulty cultivating any level of compassion for ourselves and our own suffering. This is the main focus of the teaching of Garden of Mercy.
Situation
You have been struggling with something in your life lately, and it’s making you a little crazy! Normally, when you see someone else struggling, you don’t seem to have any problem feeling compassion for him or her. But when you find yourself struggling, it’s a different story, isn’t it? You aren’t very kind to yourself, are you? In fact, you tend to berate yourself—beat yourself up, so to speak—in a manner which generates more internal pain and makes your suffering that much more intense. And that is the real challenge you are facing at present.
Recommendation
First and foremost, it’s important to be gentle with yourself, no matter what is going on in your life. But right now in particular, reconnecting to your Compassion will help ease the pain and suffering of your current situation, and will help you to unblock yourself from the solutions that will facilitate your way through your struggle.
Begin by feeling some gratitude for the fact that you have become aware of this issue. Even though you may be feeling emotional pain about your situation, if you can allow a little bit of gratitude to come into your heart, you will immediately begin opening the door to your Compassion. So, say out loud “Thank you for bringing this issue to my attention. Now that I am more fully are, I choose to begin bringing healing energy to my circumstances.” Empowering intentional statements like these have an amazing ability to invoke the entire loving machinery of the universe, so take advantage of that and watch how quickly you find resolution.
Sit quietly now, and imagine that your Suffering Self is a little child sitting right before you. You know this child better than anyone, so you know exactly what the child is feeling and experiencing. Invite the energy of the Ideal Parent into your own awareness, and allow your inner knowing of what it means to be an Ideal Parent to bring unconditional love to the child. Speak to the child the way you would want to have been addressed when you were little. Say the things that you know this child really needs to hear. Let him/her know that you are here to be fully supportive—without judgment or condition or restriction. Just listen to what the child has to say, and ask questions to help you understand exactly what is up for the child. As the child continues speaking, open your heart and your arms to welcome the child into your lap. Whatever the child is feeling, simply allow those feelings to come out on their own, and welcome them with as much love as you can.
After a while, the child’s pain will subside, and you can then address the subject of the life challenge that brought up all the pain in the first place. Find out what you can do as the Ideal Parent to help the child resolve the issue. Trust that a solution will appear in your awareness. Discuss your ideas with the child, until you come to a mutual understanding for the best approach that you can take together.
Before you release the child, remind him/her that you are always here to provide support, and that anything that s/he is feeling is perfectly okay, even if it feels painful. Express love and gratitude for the willingness of the child to open up to you. Express love and gratitude that you have reconnected to your own Compassion for yourself, and that you have found a way to move forward with your challenge.

For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Automated Modeling
This card will tell you how things are now…


Alignment Ridge
Integrity
Overview
As we learn in Alignment Ridge, Integrity is a state of being in which our thoughts, words, actions and emotions are all in alignment. Being “in integrity” is a wonderful experience, and most of us know instinctively when we are there. But, as we also learn, Integrity is even more powerful when we synchronize our alignment with our sacred Purpose for being. When we create this kind of alignment, we feel inspired and motivated, perhaps even unstoppable!
No-one is “in integrity” 100% of the time; we all slip-up occasionally. Thankfully, one of the other tools we learn about in Alignment Ridge is Accountability, which enables us to perform some powerful introspection to find out how we got off track, and to create a new commitment to find our way back to our chosen path.
Situation
It has come to your attention that your thoughts, words, actions and emotions are not aligned with each other, or at odds in some way with your purpose for being. As a result, you are feeling a sense of disorientation or confusion about your life. This may be creating a story loop in your mind with thoughts similar to these:
- I have no idea where I am or where I’m supposed to be going.
- I’ve completely forgotten my commitments, and I seem to be wandering around aimlessly.
- My life is in chaos! How did this happen?
- Nothing makes sense at the moment! Why am I doing this? How did I get off track?
- <So-and-so> is going to be pissed at me; how can I make this right?
Recommendation
Being out of integrity is a pretty common state. Everyone experiences it from time to time, because, as humans, we all make mistakes. So, first and foremost, be gentle with yourself and make sure to approach this issue with love and compassion.
Begin by determining if you are out of integrity because of a broken agreement with someone else, or if you are simply out of integrity with yourself—in which case you may have forgotten or violated a commitment to yourself. Regardless of the situation, you can use this self-accountability process to get back on track.
Find a quiet place to journal your responses to the following:
- What was the agreement or commitment I failed to honor?
- What choices did I make (conscious or unconscious) that led me to slip out of integrity with respect to this agreement/commitment?
- What were the consequences of these choices?
- What possible unconscious beliefs do I have that may have led to these choices in the first place?
- What is the source of these beliefs? Where might they have originated in my earlier life?
- Now that I have a better understanding of what drove my choices, what can I do to take full responsibility for the consequences I created?
- What new commitment can I make (to myself or to the other party) so as to challenge myself to grow from this learning and to regain my alignment with my purpose?
If your agreement/commitment was with another person, you will find it very empowering and liberating to approach that person from a place of vulnerability, and own your mis-step, offer any apology if required, and re-commit to your agreement.

For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Cash Pumping In…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…


Dark Forest
Shadow
Overview
Each of us has parts or aspects of ourselves that we try to keep hidden from the rest of the world. We do this—consciously or unconsciously—because we have a negative belief about those parts: they are somehow unacceptable, inappropriate, bad or wrong. And what’s worse, because these parts exist within our overall makeup, we inadvertently come to believe that we are somehow defective or broken.
As we learn in Dark Forest, the truth is that our Shadows are actually very powerful aspects of ourselves, and if we simply take the time to meet, engage, understand and eventually embrace them, we will have a much deeper and more intimate knowing of who we really are. And this has only positive implications for the kinds of lives we are destined to live.
Situation
Conditions are coming into being that will trigger unconscious resistance in you. You will find yourself looking for ways to avoid certain people or circumstances, and you may not be fully aware of this tendency. You may hear an inner voice warning you of some kind of unspecified danger, or strongly suggesting other activities that will keep you away from this situation.
Recommendation
When your Shadow activates, it works behind the scenes. Since it represents a part of you that you disavowed or disowned at an earlier time in your life, it tries to stay out of sight. This Shadow initially came into being because of an unconscious negative belief you took on when you were younger—likely as the result of a painful or traumatic experience—and it adopted whatever coping strategy you discovered for dealing with similar experiences that appeared to be creating the same kind of pain or trauma.
The situation today is that, even though you are much older and wiser than when you experienced the childhood pain that started this dynamic, you are still unconsciously using the same coping strategy—even though it almost certainly no longer works for you! Your Shadow is still alive and well behind the scenes, and whenever it detects a situation even remotely similar to the one that happened when you were a child, it automatically goes into self-protection mode and starts implementing its innate coping strategy. Meanwhile, you are still trying to live your life and do the things you do, but your Shadow—in its zeal to keep you safe—somehow takes over and manages to run the show, sometimes creating chaos in the process.
The solution here is for you to raise your awareness and bring your own Shadow into the light. You must remember that your Shadow is trying to create one of the four core states: Being, Serenity, Love, or Oneness. It is simply using a strategy that no longer achieves the desired result.
Create a safe and quiet place where you can relax and know you are totally safe. Do the following:
- Bring your awareness to the Shadow within you, and let it know that you are here simply to provide love and support.
- Speak to the Shadow as if it were a small child, and invite it to come closer so that you can hold it in your lap. See yourself as a loving parent who is trying to soothe his/her own little child. Just be totally present for this child, without judgment or condition, and make yourself available to listen to whatever the child has to say. Some of the following questions might be helpful:
- What do you imagine is going to happen?
- Does this remind you of something else that happened to you at a different time?
- What happened to you as a result of that similar situation?
- How did you feel because of what happened to you?
- What did you come to believe about yourself or the world because of that situation?
- And so you adopted the strategy of <describe the strategy> because it kept you safe, right?
- Once you have answers to these questions, you (as the adult) can now begin bringing some loving support to the small child. You might say something like the following:
I am really sorry that that happened to you, and that there was no-one there to protect you when you needed protection the most. I am proud of you for finding your own way to keep yourself safe. That really worked for you for a long time, so thank you for doing that. It just shows how resourceful and thoughtful you were. But I am here now. I am an adult with adult powers, and I can do things that I could not do when I was a child. I am here to keep you safe and protect you. You no longer need to take care of me—that is my job, not yours. So, I release you from your job of trying to keep me safe, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you have done for me. - You may find that the child will release some tears, and you might do the same. Just let that happen, and allow the love to flow between you.
- When you are ready, release the child, and allow him/her to go off and play, like a child should be able to do.
- Take note of how you are feeling, and embrace the full power of who you really are.
After this process is complete, you will be much better prepared to deal with future situations that trigger the pain and reaction of old wounds.

For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Awakening
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…


River of Grace
Flow
Overview
When we come into the physical world, we arrive in a state of sacred flow. We are excited and happy to be in our new surroundings, full of curiosity, and eager to venture onto the path of our adventures. We aren’t troubled by the past or worried about the future; we are simply present in the here-and-now, full of wonder for whatever shows up next.
But soon enough, life happens, and we find ourselves bound and restricted by ever more complicated rules and guidelines and demands. Soon enough, the sacred flow is nowhere to be found, and life becomes more of a struggle and challenge than an adventure.
When we visit River of Grace, we are gently and lovingly reminded of the natural state we arrived in. Here, we learn about Flow—the idea of presence in action—and how we can reclaim it and maintain it in our everyday life.
Situation
You are well aware that something important is going to take place in your life in the next few days or weeks. It is something you have been anticipating with a mixture of excitement and fear. You are worrying about possible negative consequences of this event’s arrival, and obsession with these fearful thoughts makes it difficult for you to stay focused on important things that need your attention right now.
Recommendation
The only two times when nothing can be done are Yesterday and Tomorrow. If you focus your attention on either of them, you are depriving yourself of the gift of Today.
It may well be true that something you have anticipated for a while is soon to appear, and it will bring with it whatever it brings. You can worry about how this event will show up, about how it will impact you, about all the things that could possibly go wrong, yes, you can do all that if you want to. But what is it costing you to concern yourself this way about something that has not yet happened? Wouldn’t you find your life less stressful if you could stop this worrisome future-think?
Bring yourself back to the present, to the here-and-now, and allow yourself to experience what is here right now. Here’s a little trick you can do to help you re-ground yourself:
- Imagine that the event you are anticipating has already arrived, and that everything about it turned out more or less as expected. Notice the relief you feel, and the immediate sense of relaxation that shows up as a result.
- Now, simply allow the event to be a wonderful memory in your mind, something that you can cherish any time you are feeling a little stressed out. Allow this memory to be so important to you that it seems almost like a peak experience.
- Bring the emotional energy if this experience back into the present moment, and notice how you are feeling right now.
Focus your attention on your renewed sense of aliveness, and let that inform all your thoughts, words and actions going forward. Anytime you find yourself slipping back into worry mode, come back to this exercise and let it ground you and bring you back to Flow.

For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Igniting…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…


Destiny Point
Purpose
Overview
Everyone has a reason for being here in the physical world. The problem is that many of us aren’t really aware of our true Purpose. Instead, we follow our inner desires and passions (which are often influenced by ego-minds that want us to show up so as to conform to the expectations of the world), and end up in places and situations that we didn’t really have in mind. This is because we were following a default purpose instead of a true spiritual purpose.
In Destiny Point, we dive deep into the concept of Purpose and discover ways to know with conviction why we are really here. Then we take our understanding and apply it to all of our choices, agreements, and commitments going forward.
Situation
You will soon be faced with challenging circumstances that will lead you to question the reason for your being. You will find yourself wondering things like:
- Why is this happening to me (again)?
- How can life be so cruel?
- What possible meaning can there be in this?
These thoughts will compound the situation by making it difficult for you to deal with it in anything but a reactive approach. You will find yourself making choices automatically and unconsciously, without considering possible consequences, and this will make the situation even more chaotic.
Recommendation
Recognize and understand that the reaction described above is one that emanates from fear. All of the thoughts listed (and any other similar thoughts you might have) signal your retreat into self-protection mode, which means that you perceive some kind of risk or danger or threat. Indeed, there may be a real danger in the situation that arrives, so the first thing you must do is make sure you are actually safe. And if it turns out there is no real danger, then recognize that your reaction is triggered by an ego-mind that sees something in the situation that corresponds to a difficult or painful situation that happened in your past.
In either case, after the danger—real or imagined—has passed, and you are have regained your composure, proceed to reconnect to the truth of who you really are and why you are here. Remind yourself of your significance in the world by reciting these two affirmations repeatedly until they resonate within your heart and soul:
- I am a magnificent, divine, unlimited spiritual being of light and love.
- I am blessed with a powerful and sacred purpose, and I am fully aligned with that purpose in every moment.
When you feel the energy of these affirmations taking root within you, reconnect to the specifics of your Purpose, and remember your objective to align all of your thoughts, words, actions and emotions with that sacred purpose.

For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Focusing…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…


Ayuwi Circle
Relationship
Overview
Imagine a world in which you are completely alone. No other people. No animals or plants. No other life of any kind. And no inanimate objects of any kind, either. Sounds pretty desolate, to be sure. And yet, if you think about it for a moment, you might ask yourself this question: in the absence of all these things, how would you know who YOU really are?
It is a perplexing question, one well worth considering, for it brings us all face-to-face with a head-slapping realization: that we need all those other things (people, animals, inanimate objects, and so on) in our lives so that we can relate to them. And by relating to all those entities, we get to experience ourselves for who we really are.
That is what Ayuwi Circle teaches us: that Relationship is the single most powerful tool available to us in the physical realm for fully expressing and experiencing who we really are. In other words, relationships—all relationships—are sacred!
Situation
You are headed for troubled waters in one of your closest relationships. The other person will engage in a seemingly trivial behavior that will trigger a reaction within you. However, in the interest of “keeping the peace”, you will minimize the event and decide not mention it. In the following days or weeks, the other person will engage in other “trivial” behaviors that you will also minimize and stay silent about. Eventually, the build up of energy from your silent reactions will reach a breaking point, and you will react in a much more emotional, possibly even explosive, way.
Recommendation
The scenario described above is not uncommon, especially in close or intimate relationships. The problem is, we value our primary relationships and we want them to go well, so we may find ourselves choosing not to mention these so-called “trivial” problems because we believe that we’ll be seen as petty or nagging.
Unfortunately, if you withhold the truth about the internal reaction you are experiencing because of something your partner does, you are inadvertently creating a barrier to closer communication with him/her. It may be a very small barrier at first, and your partner may not even notice. But when the next trigger or “ouch” occurs and you again choose to remain silent, then you are effectively adding another “brick” in the wall between you and your partner. As more and more “bricks” are added, you become more and more sensitive to the things that your partner does, and soon enough, you won’t be able to contain your reaction anymore, and you will will over-react in a way that makes no sense at all to your partner!
To avoid this kind of problem, it really helps to develop a relationship practice of Sharing Withholds. This is a highly conscious process that requires you to step through your fear and into your courage, in order to share with your partner what is going on for you. The process in NOT about shaming or blaming your partner for whatever s/he did, nor is it about trying to get him/her to change in any way. Rather, it is about honestly and vulnerably sharing your own reaction—using Self-Responsible First Person Communication. It goes like this:
- Connect to your inner compassion and unconditional love, and approach your partner. Say something like this: Partner, I have a withhold I’d like to share with you. Are you willing to hear it? If your partner says yes, then continue with the process; otherwise, ask for a time when s/he’d be willing to hear what you have to say and come back later.
- Continue with your own share: Thank you for being available for this. When you did <describe the behavior without judgment>, I found myself feeling triggered. I felt <describe what you were feeling> and I noticed that I began reacting internally the way I reacted as a child whenever <describe the childhood situation that caused you pain>. I know you are not my <parent/guardian/whoever may have caused this pain>, and I do not want to create distance from you. I just wanted to share this with you so that you understand what’s going on for me.
- Pause to allow your partner to digest what you have shared. Your partner should simply say, Thank you for sharing this with me. Would you like me to respond to your share?
- You can say yes or no, whatever seems true for you in the moment. This may or may not lead to further discussion with your partner.
- Close the process with a shared hug, as appropriate in your relationship.
If you and your partner practice this kind of sharing on a regular basis, you will find your relationship growing stronger by the day.

For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).