Overview

Our ego-minds spend a great deal of time trying to keep us safe—sometimes in ways that, on close inspection, may seem quite dysfunctional. We often find ourselves trying to make sense of our circumstances by putting our own spin on things—that is, we analyze, explain, justify, or interpret our situations without really making any effort to accept them as they are. In other words, we unconsciously tend to reject what is in favor of our own story or thinking about what is.

In Peaceful Heart Meadow, we begin to learn about the first Key Skill: Acceptance. As we become more aware of what is, our first priority is to accept it as it is. That is, we suspend our judgments, conclusions or stories about it, so that we can grok it more clearly for what it really is—rather than for what we think it is.

Acceptance is not about agreeing with anything; it’s not about condoning anything; it’s not about believing in anything. All of those actions—agreeing, condoning, believing—require you to analyze, explain, justify or interpret what is, which puts you back into your ego-mind, and disconnects you from your innate ability to accept. Acceptance is simply about being fully aware of what is and acknowledging it as such—in other words, Acceptance is Awareness without Story. If you get out of your head and into your heart, you engage your natural power to accept what is. Once you have accepted it for what it really is, then and only then can you actually do something about it.

Situation

You are in the center of a confluence of events and circumstances that will lead to a situation you will find intolerable or unacceptable. Your unconscious reaction to this situation will put you in a place of powerful resistance to what is happening, and your resistance will in turn complicate the situation and exacerbate your own discomfort and upset. If you are not careful, this may lead to additional hardship or heartbreak for you.

Recommendation

You may not be able to change or stop whatever circumstances are coming your way, but you can certainly prepare yourself so that you are able to deal with them from a place of calm equanimity. The way to do this is to practice Acceptance for situations that are relatively easy to accept; then, as you gain confidence in your ability, you will find that bringing the same level of Acceptance to more challenging situations will become easier.

For a situation which has not yet come into being, it may be difficult for you to cultivate an accepting attitude in advance. However, you can use the Future Presence process to help you:

• Use your imagination to create a challenging but realistic scenario that has a reasonably high likelihood of coming to pass in your life. Put this scenario somewhere into your future, and imagine that it is something that is certain to happen.
• In your mind travel forward to a time a few days following the event in question, and begin to imagine that you dealt with the situation with complete success, because you were able to fully accept it as it was.
• In your mind, conduct a short interview with your future self. Ask him/her the following questions:
• How did you stay fully present and aware during this difficult time?
• When you found yourself resisting the situation, how did you bring yourself back to a place of Acceptance?
• What difference did your Acceptance make in your handling of the situation?
• What were you thinking as the situation progressed?
• What were you feeling?
• How do you feel now that the situation has passed?
• Take note of all the answers that you get, and bring your new understanding back to the present moment.

Recognize and understand that you have the capability to accept any situation for what it is, no matter how challenging it might appear to be. You can use this new understanding to prepare you more fully for what is yet to come.