What Is Your Ideal Lifestyle…
Discover What Is and What is To Be on Your Journey of Life…
Click the two cards below to see what Present and Future you have drawn. Then click again to get the description and recommendations for your specific situation. Watch for follow-up emails with even more information to guide you…
Be sure to write down the names of your two cards, so you can access additional information later.
Passive Income Lifestyle
This card will tell you how things are now…
Garden of Mercy
Compassion
Overview
It is pretty obvious that there is a lot of suffering in the world around us. And only the coldest of people would fail to feel empathy for this suffering, or to desire to find a way—no matter how small—to relieve it, or better yet, to eradicate it altogether. This internal drive to soothe or eliminate obvious suffering is what most of us recognize as Compassion, the key skill taught in Garden of Mercy. Compassion is a powerful force that, according to the Dalai Lama, is actually a primary pathway to happiness.
Ironically, while most of us have no difficulty experiencing or expressing compassion for others, all too often we have difficulty cultivating any level of compassion for ourselves and our own suffering. This is the main focus of the teaching of Garden of Mercy.
Situation
You have been struggling with something in your life lately, and it’s making you a little crazy! Normally, when you see someone else struggling, you don’t seem to have any problem feeling compassion for him or her. But when you find yourself struggling, it’s a different story, isn’t it? You aren’t very kind to yourself, are you? In fact, you tend to berate yourself—beat yourself up, so to speak—in a manner which generates more internal pain and makes your suffering that much more intense. And that is the real challenge you are facing at present.
Recommendation
First and foremost, it’s important to be gentle with yourself, no matter what is going on in your life. But right now in particular, reconnecting to your Compassion will help ease the pain and suffering of your current situation, and will help you to unblock yourself from the solutions that will facilitate your way through your struggle.
Begin by feeling some gratitude for the fact that you have become aware of this issue. Even though you may be feeling emotional pain about your situation, if you can allow a little bit of gratitude to come into your heart, you will immediately begin opening the door to your Compassion. So, say out loud “Thank you for bringing this issue to my attention. Now that I am more fully are, I choose to begin bringing healing energy to my circumstances.” Empowering intentional statements like these have an amazing ability to invoke the entire loving machinery of the universe, so take advantage of that and watch how quickly you find resolution.
Sit quietly now, and imagine that your Suffering Self is a little child sitting right before you. You know this child better than anyone, so you know exactly what the child is feeling and experiencing. Invite the energy of the Ideal Parent into your own awareness, and allow your inner knowing of what it means to be an Ideal Parent to bring unconditional love to the child. Speak to the child the way you would want to have been addressed when you were little. Say the things that you know this child really needs to hear. Let him/her know that you are here to be fully supportive—without judgment or condition or restriction. Just listen to what the child has to say, and ask questions to help you understand exactly what is up for the child. As the child continues speaking, open your heart and your arms to welcome the child into your lap. Whatever the child is feeling, simply allow those feelings to come out on their own, and welcome them with as much love as you can.
After a while, the child’s pain will subside, and you can then address the subject of the life challenge that brought up all the pain in the first place. Find out what you can do as the Ideal Parent to help the child resolve the issue. Trust that a solution will appear in your awareness. Discuss your ideas with the child, until you come to a mutual understanding for the best approach that you can take together.
Before you release the child, remind him/her that you are always here to provide support, and that anything that s/he is feeling is perfectly okay, even if it feels painful. Express love and gratitude for the willingness of the child to open up to you. Express love and gratitude that you have reconnected to your own Compassion for yourself, and that you have found a way to move forward with your challenge.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Easy Do-It-Yourself
This card will tell you how things are now…
Destiny Point
Purpose
Overview
Everyone has a reason for being here in the physical world. The problem is that many of us aren’t really aware of our true Purpose. Instead, we follow our inner desires and passions (which are often influenced by ego-minds that want us to show up so as to conform to the expectations of the world), and end up in places and situations that we didn’t really have in mind. This is because we were following a default purpose instead of a true spiritual purpose.
In Destiny Point, we dive deep into the concept of Purpose and discover ways to know with conviction why we are really here. Then we take our understanding and apply it to all of our choices, agreements, and commitments going forward.
Situation
Recently, you have been experiencing a kind of aimlessness or pointlessness in your life. You have been questioning yourself and wondering why you are doing a lot of the things you are doing. You are likely noticing thoughts like the following in your mind:
- What is the point of this job | relationship | life | etc.?
- Nothing about my life makes any sense right now.
- I can’t figure out which way I’m supposed to go!
Depending on the frequency and intensity of these thoughts and stories, you may be feeling some hopelessness or despair, or possibly even some mild depression. Your condition may well be related to a disconnection from your Purpose for being.
Recommendation
Having a powerful connection to your Purpose can do wonders for improving your outlook on life. Your Purpose serves as a type of internal navigation system that can guide you in every area of your life; as such, it gives you a way to focus your energy and ensure that everything you think, say, do or feel is aligned in the best direction for your life. Being disconnected from your Purpose is much like turning off your internal navigation system. You end up driving blind, so to speak, which makes it very hard to get where you want to go. In truth, your internal navigation system is never really off-line; you may just be in a situation where you are not paying attention to it.
Reconnecting to your Purpose can be pretty straight-forward.
- Bring awareness to your situation—awareness of what is going on around you and within you. Notice, in particular, all the ways that your behavior is out of alignment with your Purpose.
- Notice whether you have deviated from your Purpose because of any external factors. Are you allowing yourself to be lured away by other things that may seem more interesting? Are you perhaps being manipulated by an unconscious desire to do things that others want you to do, even though you know they aren’t necessarily right for you? Have you perhaps forgotten your Purpose altogether?
- Whatever you discover, be gentle with yourself, and honor yourself for having the courage to be honest with yourself.
- To reconnect to your Purpose, you can do this short visualization. In a seated position with your eyes closed, allow yourself to breathe slowly and gently. As you become more relaxed, see yourself sitting at the top of a hill that allows you to see in all directions. Imagine that the world below you is exactly like the world of your deepest heart’s desire. See the people below interacting with one another in a way that supports your vision of the ideal world. See that everyone’s needs are all met, and that your world is in total harmony. Now, ask yourself this question: What part to I play in creating this world of my dreams? How do I show up to make it a reality? Allow the answers to bubble up into your awareness, knowing that they are written indelibly in your memory. Allow yourself to come back to the present moment.
- Take some time to journal your experience. Write down the words that describe the world of your dreams. These will typically be inspirational adjectives, and you may have many of them. Then write down all the things you saw yourself doing (action words) to bring that world into reality.
The combination of vision and action that you harvest from your visualization is the core of your Purpose for being. Write it down, anchor it into your body, and bring it consciously into your daily life. Let it inform everything you think, say, do or feel from this moment onward.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Easy Do-It-For-You…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…
Destiny Point
Purpose
Overview
Everyone has a reason for being here in the physical world. The problem is that many of us aren’t really aware of our true Purpose. Instead, we follow our inner desires and passions (which are often influenced by ego-minds that want us to show up so as to conform to the expectations of the world), and end up in places and situations that we didn’t really have in mind. This is because we were following a default purpose instead of a true spiritual purpose.
In Destiny Point, we dive deep into the concept of Purpose and discover ways to know with conviction why we are really here. Then we take our understanding and apply it to all of our choices, agreements, and commitments going forward.
Situation
You will soon be faced with challenging circumstances that will lead you to question the reason for your being. You will find yourself wondering things like:
- Why is this happening to me (again)?
- How can life be so cruel?
- What possible meaning can there be in this?
These thoughts will compound the situation by making it difficult for you to deal with it in anything but a reactive approach. You will find yourself making choices automatically and unconsciously, without considering possible consequences, and this will make the situation even more chaotic.
Recommendation
Recognize and understand that the reaction described above is one that emanates from fear. All of the thoughts listed (and any other similar thoughts you might have) signal your retreat into self-protection mode, which means that you perceive some kind of risk or danger or threat. Indeed, there may be a real danger in the situation that arrives, so the first thing you must do is make sure you are actually safe. And if it turns out there is no real danger, then recognize that your reaction is triggered by an ego-mind that sees something in the situation that corresponds to a difficult or painful situation that happened in your past.
In either case, after the danger—real or imagined—has passed, and you are have regained your composure, proceed to reconnect to the truth of who you really are and why you are here. Remind yourself of your significance in the world by reciting these two affirmations repeatedly until they resonate within your heart and soul:
- I am a magnificent, divine, unlimited spiritual being of light and love.
- I am blessed with a powerful and sacred purpose, and I am fully aligned with that purpose in every moment.
When you feel the energy of these affirmations taking root within you, reconnect to the specifics of your Purpose, and remember your objective to align all of your thoughts, words, actions and emotions with that sacred purpose.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Assetizing…
This card will tell you how things are now…
Peaceful Heart Meadow
Acceptance
Overview
Our ego-minds spend a great deal of time trying to keep us safe—sometimes in ways that, on close inspection, may seem quite dysfunctional. We often find ourselves trying to make sense of our circumstances by putting our own spin on things—that is, we analyze, explain, justify, or interpret our situations without really making any effort to accept them as they are. In other words, we unconsciously tend to reject what is in favor of our own story or thinking about what is.
In Peaceful Heart Meadow, we begin to learn about the first Key Skill: Acceptance. As we become more aware of what is, our first priority is to accept it as it is. That is, we suspend our judgments, conclusions or stories about it, so that we can grok it more clearly for what it really is—rather than for what we think it is.
Acceptance is not about agreeing with anything; it’s not about condoning anything; it’s not about believing in anything. All of those actions—agreeing, condoning, believing—require you to analyze, explain, justify or interpret what is, which puts you back into your ego-mind, and disconnects you from your innate ability to accept. Acceptance is simply about being fully aware of what is and acknowledging it as such—in other words, Acceptance is Awareness without Story. If you get out of your head and into your heart, you engage your natural power to accept what is. Once you have accepted it for what it really is, then and only then can you actually do something about it.
Situation
Something unpleasant, painful or tragic is happening in your life right now, and it has triggered many different reactions within you. In essence, your reactions are just variations of your overall rejection of the situation, and your rejection of what is merely increases your pain and discomfort without in any way changing the situation. Your desire to reject what’s happening may be quite understandable, because the situation itself is causing you pain and distress. Perhaps you are having thoughts like these:
- This situation is completely unacceptable; I have to find a way to make it go away.
- This can’t be happening to me…again!
- If I accept this, then it means that I’m agreeing with it. I simply can’t allow that to happen.
- I don’t like it; I don’t want it; I don’t choose it. I refuse to allow it into my life.
Recommendation
If you’ve ever had a massage, then you probably remember a time when your massage therapist found a place on your body that felt painful to the touch. And when that happened, you probably had an instant reaction to tense your body and protect yourself from the pain. Interestingly, however, if you allowed yourself to consciously relax the muscles and accept the temporary pain of the therapist’s touch, then pretty quickly the pain subsided and the movement of the therapist’s hands actually relieved some deep-rooted tension, and therefore provided some much needed healing.
Think of Acceptance in the same way. Your current situation may be unpleasant or painful, but you can alleviate that pain significantly simply by acknowledging it, relaxing into it and allowing your breath to carry it away.
Find a quiet place where you can follow this simple process to help you return to a place of acceptance:
- Take some deep breaths to ground yourself and bring yourself into the present moment. Bring attention to your emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations. Avoid any judgments, interpretations or conclusions as you do this. Just keep breathing gently and maintain your perspective as an observer.
- When you feel sufficiently present and relaxed, allow your inner observer to take a closer look at the issue that has been triggering resistance. What is it about this issue that agitates you to the point that you want to push it away? Does the issue bring up any self-judgments or stories that challenge your ability to stay present? Again, avoid any judgments as you do this; simply observe the situation and what it brings up for you.
- Bring the energy of compassion and forgiveness to yourself for the way you are reacting to the situation. Imagine that you are wrapping yourself in a big, unconditionally loving hug. Remind yourself that everything about you is perfectly okay—including any reaction or feeling you may have had up to now.
- Take a few more deep breaths, and simply release your energy of resistance. Imagine that you putting all the resistance energy into an expanding balloon; imagine opening a window in your heart and allowing that balloon simply to float off into the distance. Watch it disappear over the horizon, never to come back into your body.
- Take a few more deep breaths, and see yourself accepting your situation exactly as it is. It is neither good nor bad, right nor wrong; it simply is what it is. In your mind’s eye, see yourself examining the situation from all angles, maximizing your awareness of everything it contains.
- Take some time now to honor yourself for bringing yourself back to a place of acceptance.
At this point, you have really completed the exercise. Give yourself some time to let the process anchor within you. After sufficient time has passed, and you believe you have fully accepted the situation for what it is, you will find yourself better equipped to decide exactly what steps you want to take to move forward.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Automated Modeling
This card will tell you how things are now…
Destiny Point
Purpose
Overview
Everyone has a reason for being here in the physical world. The problem is that many of us aren’t really aware of our true Purpose. Instead, we follow our inner desires and passions (which are often influenced by ego-minds that want us to show up so as to conform to the expectations of the world), and end up in places and situations that we didn’t really have in mind. This is because we were following a default purpose instead of a true spiritual purpose.
In Destiny Point, we dive deep into the concept of Purpose and discover ways to know with conviction why we are really here. Then we take our understanding and apply it to all of our choices, agreements, and commitments going forward.
Situation
Recently, you have been experiencing a kind of aimlessness or pointlessness in your life. You have been questioning yourself and wondering why you are doing a lot of the things you are doing. You are likely noticing thoughts like the following in your mind:
- What is the point of this job | relationship | life | etc.?
- Nothing about my life makes any sense right now.
- I can’t figure out which way I’m supposed to go!
Depending on the frequency and intensity of these thoughts and stories, you may be feeling some hopelessness or despair, or possibly even some mild depression. Your condition may well be related to a disconnection from your Purpose for being.
Recommendation
Having a powerful connection to your Purpose can do wonders for improving your outlook on life. Your Purpose serves as a type of internal navigation system that can guide you in every area of your life; as such, it gives you a way to focus your energy and ensure that everything you think, say, do or feel is aligned in the best direction for your life. Being disconnected from your Purpose is much like turning off your internal navigation system. You end up driving blind, so to speak, which makes it very hard to get where you want to go. In truth, your internal navigation system is never really off-line; you may just be in a situation where you are not paying attention to it.
Reconnecting to your Purpose can be pretty straight-forward.
- Bring awareness to your situation—awareness of what is going on around you and within you. Notice, in particular, all the ways that your behavior is out of alignment with your Purpose.
- Notice whether you have deviated from your Purpose because of any external factors. Are you allowing yourself to be lured away by other things that may seem more interesting? Are you perhaps being manipulated by an unconscious desire to do things that others want you to do, even though you know they aren’t necessarily right for you? Have you perhaps forgotten your Purpose altogether?
- Whatever you discover, be gentle with yourself, and honor yourself for having the courage to be honest with yourself.
- To reconnect to your Purpose, you can do this short visualization. In a seated position with your eyes closed, allow yourself to breathe slowly and gently. As you become more relaxed, see yourself sitting at the top of a hill that allows you to see in all directions. Imagine that the world below you is exactly like the world of your deepest heart’s desire. See the people below interacting with one another in a way that supports your vision of the ideal world. See that everyone’s needs are all met, and that your world is in total harmony. Now, ask yourself this question: What part to I play in creating this world of my dreams? How do I show up to make it a reality? Allow the answers to bubble up into your awareness, knowing that they are written indelibly in your memory. Allow yourself to come back to the present moment.
- Take some time to journal your experience. Write down the words that describe the world of your dreams. These will typically be inspirational adjectives, and you may have many of them. Then write down all the things you saw yourself doing (action words) to bring that world into reality.
The combination of vision and action that you harvest from your visualization is the core of your Purpose for being. Write it down, anchor it into your body, and bring it consciously into your daily life. Let it inform everything you think, say, do or feel from this moment onward.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Cash Pumping In…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…
Destiny Point
Purpose
Overview
Everyone has a reason for being here in the physical world. The problem is that many of us aren’t really aware of our true Purpose. Instead, we follow our inner desires and passions (which are often influenced by ego-minds that want us to show up so as to conform to the expectations of the world), and end up in places and situations that we didn’t really have in mind. This is because we were following a default purpose instead of a true spiritual purpose.
In Destiny Point, we dive deep into the concept of Purpose and discover ways to know with conviction why we are really here. Then we take our understanding and apply it to all of our choices, agreements, and commitments going forward.
Situation
You will soon be faced with challenging circumstances that will lead you to question the reason for your being. You will find yourself wondering things like:
- Why is this happening to me (again)?
- How can life be so cruel?
- What possible meaning can there be in this?
These thoughts will compound the situation by making it difficult for you to deal with it in anything but a reactive approach. You will find yourself making choices automatically and unconsciously, without considering possible consequences, and this will make the situation even more chaotic.
Recommendation
Recognize and understand that the reaction described above is one that emanates from fear. All of the thoughts listed (and any other similar thoughts you might have) signal your retreat into self-protection mode, which means that you perceive some kind of risk or danger or threat. Indeed, there may be a real danger in the situation that arrives, so the first thing you must do is make sure you are actually safe. And if it turns out there is no real danger, then recognize that your reaction is triggered by an ego-mind that sees something in the situation that corresponds to a difficult or painful situation that happened in your past.
In either case, after the danger—real or imagined—has passed, and you are have regained your composure, proceed to reconnect to the truth of who you really are and why you are here. Remind yourself of your significance in the world by reciting these two affirmations repeatedly until they resonate within your heart and soul:
- I am a magnificent, divine, unlimited spiritual being of light and love.
- I am blessed with a powerful and sacred purpose, and I am fully aligned with that purpose in every moment.
When you feel the energy of these affirmations taking root within you, reconnect to the specifics of your Purpose, and remember your objective to align all of your thoughts, words, actions and emotions with that sacred purpose.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Awakening
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…
Peaceful Heart Meadow
Acceptance
Overview
Our ego-minds spend a great deal of time trying to keep us safe—sometimes in ways that, on close inspection, may seem quite dysfunctional. We often find ourselves trying to make sense of our circumstances by putting our own spin on things—that is, we analyze, explain, justify, or interpret our situations without really making any effort to accept them as they are. In other words, we unconsciously tend to reject what is in favor of our own story or thinking about what is.
In Peaceful Heart Meadow, we begin to learn about the first Key Skill: Acceptance. As we become more aware of what is, our first priority is to accept it as it is. That is, we suspend our judgments, conclusions or stories about it, so that we can grok it more clearly for what it really is—rather than for what we think it is.
Acceptance is not about agreeing with anything; it’s not about condoning anything; it’s not about believing in anything. All of those actions—agreeing, condoning, believing—require you to analyze, explain, justify or interpret what is, which puts you back into your ego-mind, and disconnects you from your innate ability to accept. Acceptance is simply about being fully aware of what is and acknowledging it as such—in other words, Acceptance is Awareness without Story. If you get out of your head and into your heart, you engage your natural power to accept what is. Once you have accepted it for what it really is, then and only then can you actually do something about it.
Situation
You are in the center of a confluence of events and circumstances that will lead to a situation you will find intolerable or unacceptable. Your unconscious reaction to this situation will put you in a place of powerful resistance to what is happening, and your resistance will in turn complicate the situation and exacerbate your own discomfort and upset. If you are not careful, this may lead to additional hardship or heartbreak for you.
Recommendation
You may not be able to change or stop whatever circumstances are coming your way, but you can certainly prepare yourself so that you are able to deal with them from a place of calm equanimity. The way to do this is to practice Acceptance for situations that are relatively easy to accept; then, as you gain confidence in your ability, you will find that bringing the same level of Acceptance to more challenging situations will become easier.
For a situation which has not yet come into being, it may be difficult for you to cultivate an accepting attitude in advance. However, you can use the Future Presence process to help you:
- Use your imagination to create a challenging but realistic scenario that has a reasonably high likelihood of coming to pass in your life. Put this scenario somewhere into your future, and imagine that it is something that is certain to happen.
- In your mind travel forward to a time a few days following the event in question, and begin to imagine that you dealt with the situation with complete success, because you were able to fully accept it as it was.
- In your mind, conduct a short interview with your future self. Ask him/her the following questions:
- How did you stay fully present and aware during this difficult time?
- When you found yourself resisting the situation, how did you bring yourself back to a place of Acceptance?
- What difference did your Acceptance make in your handling of the situation?
- What were you thinking as the situation progressed?
- What were you feeling?
- How do you feel now that the situation has passed?
- Take note of all the answers that you get, and bring your new understanding back to the present moment.
Recognize and understand that you have the capability to accept any situation for what it is, no matter how challenging it might appear to be. You can use this new understanding to prepare you more fully for what is yet to come.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Igniting…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…
Ayuwi Circle
Relationship
Overview
Imagine a world in which you are completely alone. No other people. No animals or plants. No other life of any kind. And no inanimate objects of any kind, either. Sounds pretty desolate, to be sure. And yet, if you think about it for a moment, you might ask yourself this question: in the absence of all these things, how would you know who YOU really are?
It is a perplexing question, one well worth considering, for it brings us all face-to-face with a head-slapping realization: that we need all those other things (people, animals, inanimate objects, and so on) in our lives so that we can relate to them. And by relating to all those entities, we get to experience ourselves for who we really are.
That is what Ayuwi Circle teaches us: that Relationship is the single most powerful tool available to us in the physical realm for fully expressing and experiencing who we really are. In other words, relationships—all relationships—are sacred!
Situation
You are headed for troubled waters in one of your closest relationships. The other person will engage in a seemingly trivial behavior that will trigger a reaction within you. However, in the interest of “keeping the peace”, you will minimize the event and decide not mention it. In the following days or weeks, the other person will engage in other “trivial” behaviors that you will also minimize and stay silent about. Eventually, the build up of energy from your silent reactions will reach a breaking point, and you will react in a much more emotional, possibly even explosive, way.
Recommendation
The scenario described above is not uncommon, especially in close or intimate relationships. The problem is, we value our primary relationships and we want them to go well, so we may find ourselves choosing not to mention these so-called “trivial” problems because we believe that we’ll be seen as petty or nagging.
Unfortunately, if you withhold the truth about the internal reaction you are experiencing because of something your partner does, you are inadvertently creating a barrier to closer communication with him/her. It may be a very small barrier at first, and your partner may not even notice. But when the next trigger or “ouch” occurs and you again choose to remain silent, then you are effectively adding another “brick” in the wall between you and your partner. As more and more “bricks” are added, you become more and more sensitive to the things that your partner does, and soon enough, you won’t be able to contain your reaction anymore, and you will will over-react in a way that makes no sense at all to your partner!
To avoid this kind of problem, it really helps to develop a relationship practice of Sharing Withholds. This is a highly conscious process that requires you to step through your fear and into your courage, in order to share with your partner what is going on for you. The process in NOT about shaming or blaming your partner for whatever s/he did, nor is it about trying to get him/her to change in any way. Rather, it is about honestly and vulnerably sharing your own reaction—using Self-Responsible First Person Communication. It goes like this:
- Connect to your inner compassion and unconditional love, and approach your partner. Say something like this: Partner, I have a withhold I’d like to share with you. Are you willing to hear it? If your partner says yes, then continue with the process; otherwise, ask for a time when s/he’d be willing to hear what you have to say and come back later.
- Continue with your own share: Thank you for being available for this. When you did <describe the behavior without judgment>, I found myself feeling triggered. I felt <describe what you were feeling> and I noticed that I began reacting internally the way I reacted as a child whenever <describe the childhood situation that caused you pain>. I know you are not my <parent/guardian/whoever may have caused this pain>, and I do not want to create distance from you. I just wanted to share this with you so that you understand what’s going on for me.
- Pause to allow your partner to digest what you have shared. Your partner should simply say, Thank you for sharing this with me. Would you like me to respond to your share?
- You can say yes or no, whatever seems true for you in the moment. This may or may not lead to further discussion with your partner.
- Close the process with a shared hug, as appropriate in your relationship.
If you and your partner practice this kind of sharing on a regular basis, you will find your relationship growing stronger by the day.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Focusing…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…
Peaceful Heart Meadow
Acceptance
Overview
Our ego-minds spend a great deal of time trying to keep us safe—sometimes in ways that, on close inspection, may seem quite dysfunctional. We often find ourselves trying to make sense of our circumstances by putting our own spin on things—that is, we analyze, explain, justify, or interpret our situations without really making any effort to accept them as they are. In other words, we unconsciously tend to reject what is in favor of our own story or thinking about what is.
In Peaceful Heart Meadow, we begin to learn about the first Key Skill: Acceptance. As we become more aware of what is, our first priority is to accept it as it is. That is, we suspend our judgments, conclusions or stories about it, so that we can grok it more clearly for what it really is—rather than for what we think it is.
Acceptance is not about agreeing with anything; it’s not about condoning anything; it’s not about believing in anything. All of those actions—agreeing, condoning, believing—require you to analyze, explain, justify or interpret what is, which puts you back into your ego-mind, and disconnects you from your innate ability to accept. Acceptance is simply about being fully aware of what is and acknowledging it as such—in other words, Acceptance is Awareness without Story. If you get out of your head and into your heart, you engage your natural power to accept what is. Once you have accepted it for what it really is, then and only then can you actually do something about it.
Situation
You are in the center of a confluence of events and circumstances that will lead to a situation you will find intolerable or unacceptable. Your unconscious reaction to this situation will put you in a place of powerful resistance to what is happening, and your resistance will in turn complicate the situation and exacerbate your own discomfort and upset. If you are not careful, this may lead to additional hardship or heartbreak for you.
Recommendation
You may not be able to change or stop whatever circumstances are coming your way, but you can certainly prepare yourself so that you are able to deal with them from a place of calm equanimity. The way to do this is to practice Acceptance for situations that are relatively easy to accept; then, as you gain confidence in your ability, you will find that bringing the same level of Acceptance to more challenging situations will become easier.
For a situation which has not yet come into being, it may be difficult for you to cultivate an accepting attitude in advance. However, you can use the Future Presence process to help you:
- Use your imagination to create a challenging but realistic scenario that has a reasonably high likelihood of coming to pass in your life. Put this scenario somewhere into your future, and imagine that it is something that is certain to happen.
- In your mind travel forward to a time a few days following the event in question, and begin to imagine that you dealt with the situation with complete success, because you were able to fully accept it as it was.
- In your mind, conduct a short interview with your future self. Ask him/her the following questions:
- How did you stay fully present and aware during this difficult time?
- When you found yourself resisting the situation, how did you bring yourself back to a place of Acceptance?
- What difference did your Acceptance make in your handling of the situation?
- What were you thinking as the situation progressed?
- What were you feeling?
- How do you feel now that the situation has passed?
- Take note of all the answers that you get, and bring your new understanding back to the present moment.
Recognize and understand that you have the capability to accept any situation for what it is, no matter how challenging it might appear to be. You can use this new understanding to prepare you more fully for what is yet to come.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).