What Is Your Ideal Lifestyle…

Discover What Is and What is To Be on Your Journey of Life…

Click the two cards below to see what Present and Future you have drawn. Then click again to get the description and recommendations for your specific situation. Watch for follow-up emails with even more information to guide you…

Be sure to write down the names of your two cards, so you can access additional information later.

Passive Income Lifestyle
This card will tell you how things are now…

Alignment Ridge

Integrity

Overview

As we learn in Alignment Ridge, Integrity is a state of being in which our thoughts, words, actions and emotions are all in alignment. Being “in integrity” is a wonderful experience, and most of us know instinctively when we are there. But, as we also learn, Integrity is even more powerful when we synchronize our alignment with our sacred Purpose for being. When we create this kind of alignment, we feel inspired and motivated, perhaps even unstoppable!

No-one is “in integrity” 100% of the time; we all slip-up occasionally. Thankfully, one of the other tools we learn about in Alignment Ridge is Accountability, which enables us to perform some powerful introspection to find out how we got off track, and to create a new commitment to find our way back to our chosen path.

Situation

It has come to your attention that your thoughts, words, actions and emotions are not aligned with each other, or at odds in some way with your purpose for being. As a result, you are feeling a sense of disorientation or confusion about your life. This may be creating a story loop in your mind with thoughts similar to these:

  • I have no idea where I am or where I’m supposed to be going.
  • I’ve completely forgotten my commitments, and I seem to be wandering around aimlessly.
  • My life is in chaos! How did this happen?
  • Nothing makes sense at the moment! Why am I doing this? How did I get off track?
  • <So-and-so> is going to be pissed at me; how can I make this right?

Recommendation

Being out of integrity is a pretty common state. Everyone experiences it from time to time, because, as humans, we all make mistakes. So, first and foremost, be gentle with yourself and make sure to approach this issue with love and compassion.

Begin by determining if you are out of integrity because of a broken agreement with someone else, or if you are simply out of integrity with yourself—in which case you may have forgotten or violated a commitment to yourself. Regardless of the situation, you can use this self-accountability process to get back on track.

Find a quiet place to journal your responses to the following:

  1. What was the agreement or commitment I failed to honor?
  2. What choices did I make (conscious or unconscious) that led me to slip out of integrity with respect to this agreement/commitment?
  3. What were the consequences of these choices?
  4. What possible unconscious beliefs do I have that may have led to these choices in the first place?
  5. What is the source of these beliefs? Where might they have originated in my earlier life?
  6. Now that I have a better understanding of what drove my choices, what can I do to take full responsibility for the consequences I created?
  7. What new commitment can I make (to myself or to the other party) so as to challenge myself to grow from this learning and to regain my alignment with my purpose?

If your agreement/commitment was with another person, you will find it very empowering and liberating to approach that person from a place of vulnerability, and own your mis-step, offer any apology if required, and re-commit to your agreement.

For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).

Easy Do-It-Yourself
This card will tell you how things are now…

Sacred Mirror Falls

Identity

Overview

People everywhere experience societal pressure to conform to what others expect of them. We are drilled from a very early age to be nice, to fit in, to put others’ needs ahead of our own, and so on. We are told not to rock the boat, not to make waves. And if by chance we fail to abide by all these rules, then we run the risk of losing someone’s disapproval, or maybe being shunned, or even worse.

Unfortunately, in order to meet the demands of these rules and regulations, we often end up disowning ourselves. We put on masks and costumes in order to appear publicly the way we believe others want to see us. In doing so, our true selves get lost, and we often end up feeling unhappy, disillusioned, depressed or angry.

In Sacred Mirror Falls, you are taken into a deep exploration of Identity—that is, the essence and meaning of who you really are—and how you can maintain your sovereignty and uniqueness while still honoring the protocols that society puts in place.

Situation

You are showing up in your life in ways that you believe other people want to experience you. This could manifest in a variety of ways:

  • You may be putting aside your own wants and needs in order to accommodate the wants and needs of others.
  • You may be saying (or doing) things in order to avoid confrontation or conflict, rather than speaking your genuine truth.
  • You may be resorting to humor, perhaps even to excess, in order to get people to like you or approve of you.
  • You may be adopting a perfectionist approach to your life out of some unconscious belief that it is not okay to make mistakes.

These strategies, and others like them, may actually work to some extent in getting the kind of approval or acknowledgment you are seeking. But they also have a negative impact on your self-worth, because deep down inside you know you are not being your authentic self, and one thing you want more than counterfeit approval or acknowledgment is to be seen and experienced for who you really are.

Recommendation

At the moment, you are being driven by unconscious beliefs about how life operates, so it is important to shed light on these beliefs so that you can understand and accept them for what they are. This will require some deep and tender introspection. You can begin by asking yourself questions like the following:

  • What are my beliefs about how I’m supposed to show up in the world?
  • What are my beliefs about how the world responds to me?
  • How did I come to believe that I am obligated to please others or put my needs aside for them?
  • What might happen if I spoke my truth in all situations, rather than trying to avoid conflict all the time?
  • What would I lose if I stopped being the “joker” or “class clown“?

Bring compassion and forgiveness to yourself as you ask these questions. Try not to judge yourself in any way; simply observe your answers and notice how you feel about them.

In your soul, you know that it is possible to accommodate people’s wants and needs without compromising your own. It is possible to bring authentic humor into situations when it is called for. It is possible to speak your truth in virtually all situations while still honoring the truth of others. It is possible to aim for perfection while allowing mistakes to guide you.

You also know it is possible for YOU to show up vulnerably and authentically as the shining light you are—while still allowing space for other’s lights to shine just as brightly. So, the real questions you can ask to get you back onto your true path are questions like these:

  • How can I show up in authentically in the world while honoring the authenticity of others?
  • How can I honor the wants and needs of others without compromising my own?
  • How can I speak my truth consistently and reduce the likelihood of conflict?
  • How can I allow the gentle flow of my natural humor in a way that contributes to every situation?

You will notice that all these questions begin with How can I… When you ask questions in this powerful way, you are inviting the Universe to feed authentic answers to you through your Soul. So, when you ask them, make sure you maintain your awareness so that you’ll be ready when the answers appear.

For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).

Easy Do-It-For-You…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…

Garden of Mercy

Compassion

Overview

It is pretty obvious that there is a lot of suffering in the world around us. And only the coldest of people would fail to feel empathy for this suffering, or to desire to find a way—no matter how small—to relieve it, or better yet, to eradicate it altogether. This internal drive to soothe or eliminate obvious suffering is what most of us recognize as Compassion, the key skill taught in Garden of Mercy. Compassion is a powerful force that, according to the Dalai Lama, is actually a primary pathway to happiness.

Ironically, while most of us have no difficulty experiencing or expressing compassion for others, all too often we have difficulty cultivating any level of compassion for ourselves and our own suffering. This is the main focus of the teaching of Garden of Mercy.

Situation

You will soon encounter circumstances involving a loved one that will challenge your natural ability to maintain your compassionate center. The loved one in question will be embroiled in circumstances of his/her own creation, resulting from some ill-considered or unconscious choices. If you allow yourself to go into reaction mode, you will find yourself berating your loved one, and making matters worse as a result of your own upset. You may also find yourself resorting to blaming or shaming statements, and telling your loved one things like “I told you so” or “You should have known better”.

Recommendation

Sometimes our loved ones do things that get them into trouble. This can be particularly difficult if the loved ones in question are children, in which case your role as a caring parent comes into play and you feel compelled to step in and help out—especially if your child is experiencing a lot of pain or suffering as a result of his/her choice. If the loved one happens to be an adult child, then things get complicated, because now you have to balance your desire to relieve suffering with the child’s need to experience the full impact of his/her choice. Of course, if the loved one in question is not one of your children, then your response will vary accordingly.

When a loved one gets into a challenging situation of his/her own creation, and it has a direct (negative) impact on you personally, you may find it difficult to remain grounded and compassionate. One of the first things you can do in this case to help remain grounded is to remember that, at one time or another in your life, you may have made a similar choice—a choice that caused problems for a lot of people you cared about. In other words, take a moment to walk a mile in the other person’s shoes.

Remember your own situation, and the pain and suffering you caused as a result of your choice. Remember how that felt. You probably experienced some guilt or shame about it, and you probably deeply regretted what you had done, but in the face of the impact you created, people around you may not have wanted to hear about that; perhaps their reaction was less than compassionate, and it may have seemed as if they wanted you to suffer even more.

Now consider your loved one. As a result of his/her choice, s/he may be going through a very similar experience as you did, so you can empathize with this person, and you can approach him/her from a place of loving compassion. You can commiserate; you can share a little about your own experience; you can listen to understand more about the choice that was made. And when that is all done, you can help the other person find ways to make reparations.

Remember, we are all here on this physical plane to express and experience the truth of who we really are. In doing that, we sometimes make choices that cause pain for others. Whenever that happens, we must remember to treat ourselves with compassion and to forgive ourselves whenever necessary. And we must be willing to take responsibility for our choices, and make amends if appropriate.

For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).

Assetizing…
This card will tell you how things are now…

Ayuwi Circle

Relationship

Overview

Imagine a world in which you are completely alone. No other people. No animals or plants. No other life of any kind. And no inanimate objects of any kind, either. Sounds pretty desolate, to be sure. And yet, if you think about it for a moment, you might ask yourself this question: in the absence of all these things, how would you know who YOU really are?

It is a perplexing question, one well worth considering, for it brings us all face-to-face with a head-slapping realization: that we need all those other things (people, animals, inanimate objects, and so on) in our lives so that we can relate to them. And by relating to all those entities, we get to experience ourselves for who we really are.

That is what Ayuwi Circle teaches us: that Relationship is the single most powerful tool available to us in the physical realm for fully expressing and experiencing who we really are. In other words, relationships—all relationships—are sacred!

Situation

You are struggling in your relationship with someone close to you. The two of you are having difficulty communicating, and some of your interactions have been devolving into confrontation, argument, or unpleasant finger-pointing. This is causing you a lot of personal discomfort and upset, and you are not sure what to do about it. Perhaps you are even entertaining thoughts of terminating the relationship altogether.

Recommendation

The first thing you must do is decide how important this relationship is to you; the more important it is, the greater your desire to find a path to mutual healing. One way to gauge the degree of importance it so notice how upset you are about the situation; the more pain you are feeling, the greater the likelihood that you value this relationship a lot.

Answer the following questions to help guide your next steps:

  1. How important is this relationship to me?
  2. What is it about the current circumstances that has me most upset?
  3. How have I contributed to the current situation?
  4. Am I trying to make myself right in this situation? Am I trying to make <other person> wrong in the process?
  5. Have I been trying to get <other person> to change who he/she is? Am I willing to live with the possibility that s/he might never change?
  6. What actions can I take now to create a space for healing to occur?

You might not like some of the answers you come up with, but at least you will have raised your Awareness about your own part in the situation. If you do value the relationship and wish to create healing with the other person, then you can set the following intention for yourself, and maybe even communicate it to your relationship partner:

I really value this relationship and I want to empower both of us to be fully active participants in it. I want to create space for both of us to be heard, no matter what might be going on for us. For my part, I commit to speaking my own truth without in any way holding you responsible for what I might be experiencing. I also commit to listening to your truth from my heart, without condition or judgment.

If you approach your relationship partner with this kind of intention, you will quickly begin the process of mutual healing.

For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).

Automated Modeling
This card will tell you how things are now…

Alignment Ridge

Integrity

Overview

As we learn in Alignment Ridge, Integrity is a state of being in which our thoughts, words, actions and emotions are all in alignment. Being “in integrity” is a wonderful experience, and most of us know instinctively when we are there. But, as we also learn, Integrity is even more powerful when we synchronize our alignment with our sacred Purpose for being. When we create this kind of alignment, we feel inspired and motivated, perhaps even unstoppable!

No-one is “in integrity” 100% of the time; we all slip-up occasionally. Thankfully, one of the other tools we learn about in Alignment Ridge is Accountability, which enables us to perform some powerful introspection to find out how we got off track, and to create a new commitment to find our way back to our chosen path.

Situation

It has come to your attention that your thoughts, words, actions and emotions are not aligned with each other, or at odds in some way with your purpose for being. As a result, you are feeling a sense of disorientation or confusion about your life. This may be creating a story loop in your mind with thoughts similar to these:

  • I have no idea where I am or where I’m supposed to be going.
  • I’ve completely forgotten my commitments, and I seem to be wandering around aimlessly.
  • My life is in chaos! How did this happen?
  • Nothing makes sense at the moment! Why am I doing this? How did I get off track?
  • <So-and-so> is going to be pissed at me; how can I make this right?

Recommendation

Being out of integrity is a pretty common state. Everyone experiences it from time to time, because, as humans, we all make mistakes. So, first and foremost, be gentle with yourself and make sure to approach this issue with love and compassion.

Begin by determining if you are out of integrity because of a broken agreement with someone else, or if you are simply out of integrity with yourself—in which case you may have forgotten or violated a commitment to yourself. Regardless of the situation, you can use this self-accountability process to get back on track.

Find a quiet place to journal your responses to the following:

  1. What was the agreement or commitment I failed to honor?
  2. What choices did I make (conscious or unconscious) that led me to slip out of integrity with respect to this agreement/commitment?
  3. What were the consequences of these choices?
  4. What possible unconscious beliefs do I have that may have led to these choices in the first place?
  5. What is the source of these beliefs? Where might they have originated in my earlier life?
  6. Now that I have a better understanding of what drove my choices, what can I do to take full responsibility for the consequences I created?
  7. What new commitment can I make (to myself or to the other party) so as to challenge myself to grow from this learning and to regain my alignment with my purpose?

If your agreement/commitment was with another person, you will find it very empowering and liberating to approach that person from a place of vulnerability, and own your mis-step, offer any apology if required, and re-commit to your agreement.

For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).

Cash Pumping In…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…

River of Grace

Flow

Overview

When we come into the physical world, we arrive in a state of sacred flow. We are excited and happy to be in our new surroundings, full of curiosity, and eager to venture onto the path of our adventures. We aren’t troubled by the past or worried about the future; we are simply present in the here-and-now, full of wonder for whatever shows up next.

But soon enough, life happens, and we find ourselves bound and restricted by ever more complicated rules and guidelines and demands. Soon enough, the sacred flow is nowhere to be found, and life becomes more of a struggle and challenge than an adventure.

When we visit River of Grace, we are gently and lovingly reminded of the natural state we arrived in. Here, we learn about Flow—the idea of presence in action—and how we can reclaim it and maintain it in our everyday life.

Situation

You are well aware that something important is going to take place in your life in the next few days or weeks. It is something you have been anticipating with a mixture of excitement and fear. You are worrying about possible negative consequences of this event’s arrival, and obsession with these fearful thoughts makes it difficult for you to stay focused on important things that need your attention right now.

Recommendation

The only two times when nothing can be done are Yesterday and Tomorrow. If you focus your attention on either of them, you are depriving yourself of the gift of Today.

It may well be true that something you have anticipated for a while is soon to appear, and it will bring with it whatever it brings. You can worry about how this event will show up, about how it will impact you, about all the things that could possibly go wrong, yes, you can do all that if you want to. But what is it costing you to concern yourself this way about something that has not yet happened? Wouldn’t you find your life less stressful if you could stop this worrisome future-think?

Bring yourself back to the present, to the here-and-now, and allow yourself to experience what is here right now. Here’s a little trick you can do to help you re-ground yourself:

  • Imagine that the event you are anticipating has already arrived, and that everything about it turned out more or less as expected. Notice the relief you feel, and the immediate sense of relaxation that shows up as a result.
  • Now, simply allow the event to be a wonderful memory in your mind, something that you can cherish any time you are feeling a little stressed out. Allow this memory to be so important to you that it seems almost like a peak experience.
  • Bring the emotional energy if this experience back into the present moment, and notice how you are feeling right now.

Focus your attention on your renewed sense of aliveness, and let that inform all your thoughts, words and actions going forward. Anytime you find yourself slipping back into worry mode, come back to this exercise and let it ground you and bring you back to Flow.

For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).

Awakening
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…

Peaceful Heart Meadow

Acceptance

Overview

Our ego-minds spend a great deal of time trying to keep us safe—sometimes in ways that, on close inspection, may seem quite dysfunctional. We often find ourselves trying to make sense of our circumstances by putting our own spin on things—that is, we analyze, explain, justify, or interpret our situations without really making any effort to accept them as they are. In other words, we unconsciously tend to reject what is in favor of our own story or thinking about what is.

In Peaceful Heart Meadow, we begin to learn about the first Key Skill: Acceptance. As we become more aware of what is, our first priority is to accept it as it is. That is, we suspend our judgments, conclusions or stories about it, so that we can grok it more clearly for what it really is—rather than for what we think it is.

Acceptance is not about agreeing with anything; it’s not about condoning anything; it’s not about believing in anything. All of those actions—agreeing, condoning, believing—require you to analyze, explain, justify or interpret what is, which puts you back into your ego-mind, and disconnects you from your innate ability to accept. Acceptance is simply about being fully aware of what is and acknowledging it as such—in other words, Acceptance is Awareness without Story. If you get out of your head and into your heart, you engage your natural power to accept what is. Once you have accepted it for what it really is, then and only then can you actually do something about it.

Situation

You are in the center of a confluence of events and circumstances that will lead to a situation you will find intolerable or unacceptable. Your unconscious reaction to this situation will put you in a place of powerful resistance to what is happening, and your resistance will in turn complicate the situation and exacerbate your own discomfort and upset. If you are not careful, this may lead to additional hardship or heartbreak for you.

Recommendation

You may not be able to change or stop whatever circumstances are coming your way, but you can certainly prepare yourself so that you are able to deal with them from a place of calm equanimity. The way to do this is to practice Acceptance for situations that are relatively easy to accept; then, as you gain confidence in your ability, you will find that bringing the same level of Acceptance to more challenging situations will become easier.

For a situation which has not yet come into being, it may be difficult for you to cultivate an accepting attitude in advance. However, you can use the Future Presence process to help you:

  • Use your imagination to create a challenging but realistic scenario that has a reasonably high likelihood of coming to pass in your life. Put this scenario somewhere into your future, and imagine that it is something that is certain to happen.
  • In your mind travel forward to a time a few days following the event in question, and begin to imagine that you dealt with the situation with complete success, because you were able to fully accept it as it was.
  • In your mind, conduct a short interview with your future self. Ask him/her the following questions:
    • How did you stay fully present and aware during this difficult time?
    • When you found yourself resisting the situation, how did you bring yourself back to a place of Acceptance?
    • What difference did your Acceptance make in your handling of the situation?
    • What were you thinking as the situation progressed?
    • What were you feeling?
    • How do you feel now that the situation has passed?
  • Take note of all the answers that you get, and bring your new understanding back to the present moment.

Recognize and understand that you have the capability to accept any situation for what it is, no matter how challenging it might appear to be. You can use this new understanding to prepare you more fully for what is yet to come.

For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).

Igniting…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…

Peaceful Heart Meadow

Acceptance

Overview

Our ego-minds spend a great deal of time trying to keep us safe—sometimes in ways that, on close inspection, may seem quite dysfunctional. We often find ourselves trying to make sense of our circumstances by putting our own spin on things—that is, we analyze, explain, justify, or interpret our situations without really making any effort to accept them as they are. In other words, we unconsciously tend to reject what is in favor of our own story or thinking about what is.

In Peaceful Heart Meadow, we begin to learn about the first Key Skill: Acceptance. As we become more aware of what is, our first priority is to accept it as it is. That is, we suspend our judgments, conclusions or stories about it, so that we can grok it more clearly for what it really is—rather than for what we think it is.

Acceptance is not about agreeing with anything; it’s not about condoning anything; it’s not about believing in anything. All of those actions—agreeing, condoning, believing—require you to analyze, explain, justify or interpret what is, which puts you back into your ego-mind, and disconnects you from your innate ability to accept. Acceptance is simply about being fully aware of what is and acknowledging it as such—in other words, Acceptance is Awareness without Story. If you get out of your head and into your heart, you engage your natural power to accept what is. Once you have accepted it for what it really is, then and only then can you actually do something about it.

Situation

You are in the center of a confluence of events and circumstances that will lead to a situation you will find intolerable or unacceptable. Your unconscious reaction to this situation will put you in a place of powerful resistance to what is happening, and your resistance will in turn complicate the situation and exacerbate your own discomfort and upset. If you are not careful, this may lead to additional hardship or heartbreak for you.

Recommendation

You may not be able to change or stop whatever circumstances are coming your way, but you can certainly prepare yourself so that you are able to deal with them from a place of calm equanimity. The way to do this is to practice Acceptance for situations that are relatively easy to accept; then, as you gain confidence in your ability, you will find that bringing the same level of Acceptance to more challenging situations will become easier.

For a situation which has not yet come into being, it may be difficult for you to cultivate an accepting attitude in advance. However, you can use the Future Presence process to help you:

  • Use your imagination to create a challenging but realistic scenario that has a reasonably high likelihood of coming to pass in your life. Put this scenario somewhere into your future, and imagine that it is something that is certain to happen.
  • In your mind travel forward to a time a few days following the event in question, and begin to imagine that you dealt with the situation with complete success, because you were able to fully accept it as it was.
  • In your mind, conduct a short interview with your future self. Ask him/her the following questions:
    • How did you stay fully present and aware during this difficult time?
    • When you found yourself resisting the situation, how did you bring yourself back to a place of Acceptance?
    • What difference did your Acceptance make in your handling of the situation?
    • What were you thinking as the situation progressed?
    • What were you feeling?
    • How do you feel now that the situation has passed?
  • Take note of all the answers that you get, and bring your new understanding back to the present moment.

Recognize and understand that you have the capability to accept any situation for what it is, no matter how challenging it might appear to be. You can use this new understanding to prepare you more fully for what is yet to come.

For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).

Focusing…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…

Ayuwi Circle

Relationship

Overview

Imagine a world in which you are completely alone. No other people. No animals or plants. No other life of any kind. And no inanimate objects of any kind, either. Sounds pretty desolate, to be sure. And yet, if you think about it for a moment, you might ask yourself this question: in the absence of all these things, how would you know who YOU really are?

It is a perplexing question, one well worth considering, for it brings us all face-to-face with a head-slapping realization: that we need all those other things (people, animals, inanimate objects, and so on) in our lives so that we can relate to them. And by relating to all those entities, we get to experience ourselves for who we really are.

That is what Ayuwi Circle teaches us: that Relationship is the single most powerful tool available to us in the physical realm for fully expressing and experiencing who we really are. In other words, relationships—all relationships—are sacred!

Situation

You are headed for troubled waters in one of your closest relationships. The other person will engage in a seemingly trivial behavior that will trigger a reaction within you. However, in the interest of “keeping the peace”, you will minimize the event and decide not mention it. In the following days or weeks, the other person will engage in other “trivial” behaviors that you will also minimize and stay silent about. Eventually, the build up of energy from your silent reactions will reach a breaking point, and you will react in a much more emotional, possibly even explosive, way.

Recommendation

The scenario described above is not uncommon, especially in close or intimate relationships. The problem is, we value our primary relationships and we want them to go well, so we may find ourselves choosing not to mention these so-called “trivial” problems because we believe that we’ll be seen as petty or nagging.

Unfortunately, if you withhold the truth about the internal reaction you are experiencing because of something your partner does, you are inadvertently creating a barrier to closer communication with him/her. It may be a very small barrier at first, and your partner may not even notice. But when the next trigger or “ouch” occurs and you again choose to remain silent, then you are effectively adding another “brick” in the wall between you and your partner. As more and more “bricks” are added, you become more and more sensitive to the things that your partner does, and soon enough, you won’t be able to contain your reaction anymore, and you will will over-react in a way that makes no sense at all to your partner!

To avoid this kind of problem, it really helps to develop a relationship practice of Sharing Withholds. This is a highly conscious process that requires you to step through your fear and into your courage, in order to share with your partner what is going on for you. The process in NOT about shaming or blaming your partner for whatever s/he did, nor is it about trying to get him/her to change in any way. Rather, it is about honestly and vulnerably sharing your own reaction—using Self-Responsible First Person Communication. It goes like this:

  1. Connect to your inner compassion and unconditional love, and approach your partner. Say something like this: Partner, I have a withhold I’d like to share with you. Are you willing to hear it? If your partner says yes, then continue with the process; otherwise, ask for a time when s/he’d be willing to hear what you have to say and come back later.
  2. Continue with your own share: Thank you for being available for this. When you did <describe the behavior without judgment>, I found myself feeling triggered. I felt <describe what you were feeling> and I noticed that I began reacting internally the way I reacted as a child whenever <describe the childhood situation that caused you pain>. I know you are not my <parent/guardian/whoever may have caused this pain>, and I do not want to create distance from you. I just wanted to share this with you so that you understand what’s going on for me.
  3. Pause to allow your partner to digest what you have shared. Your partner should simply say, Thank you for sharing this with me. Would you like me to respond to your share?
  4. You can say yes or no, whatever seems true for you in the moment. This may or may not lead to further discussion with your partner.
  5. Close the process with a shared hug, as appropriate in your relationship.

If you and your partner practice this kind of sharing on a regular basis, you will find your relationship growing stronger by the day.

For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).