What Is Your Ideal Lifestyle…
Discover What Is and What is To Be on Your Journey of Life…
Click the two cards below to see what Present and Future you have drawn. Then click again to get the description and recommendations for your specific situation. Watch for follow-up emails with even more information to guide you…
Be sure to write down the names of your two cards, so you can access additional information later.
Passive Income Lifestyle
This card will tell you how things are now…
Dark Forest
Shadow
Overview
Each of us has parts or aspects of ourselves that we try to keep hidden from the rest of the world. We do this—consciously or unconsciously—because we have a negative belief about those parts: they are somehow unacceptable, inappropriate, bad or wrong. And what’s worse, because these parts exist within our overall makeup, we inadvertently come to believe that we are somehow defective or broken.
As we learn in Dark Forest, the truth is that our Shadows are actually very powerful aspects of ourselves, and if we simply take the time to meet, engage, understand and eventually embrace them, we will have a much deeper and more intimate knowing of who we really are. And this has only positive implications for the kinds of lives we are destined to live.
Situation
There is something on your horizon that you really want. It could be something that you want to obtain, or something that you want to achieve. You feel a powerful kind of hunger within you to be in a space where you actually have this, whatever it is. The problem is, you also notice that there is a part of you that is holding you back in some way. The reluctance may be manifesting as a cold, tight feeling in your gut, or it may be showing up as a voice in your head that is making your desire look very dangerous—or it may be a combination of these things.
You have an unconscious belief that to achieve or obtain the thing you want will somehow end up causing you pain, so a Shadow within you is activated by that belief and is trying to hold you back from getting hurt.
Recommendation
Congratulations! You have become aware of one of your Shadows. It is probably not immediately obvious what this part of you is attempting to create with its actions; however, most of the time, when you get down to the deepest truth of the Shadow, it almost always seeks to create one of the four core states:
- Being — characterized by words like presence, fullness, wholeness, and sovereignty.
- Serenity — characterized by words like inner peace, calmness, contentedness, and safety.
- Love — characterized by words like freedom, acceptance, honesty, and unconditional love.
- Oneness — characterized by words like inclusion, belonging, family, and relationship.
If you want to find out what your Shadow is trying to accomplish, perform the steps of a simple “shadow interview”:
- Bring your full attention to the part of you that is holding you back from getting what you want. Imagine this part as another person sitting across from you. Let this part know that you simply want to get to know him/her better and understand his/her perspective.
- Find out what this part likes to be called, so you can address him/her properly. Sometimes the response to this question will be a name (could be your nick-name as a child), or it could be a role, such as “protector” or “guard dog” or some other role. Whatever name is offered, make sure to use that name for all subsequent questions.
- Ask the part how long s/he has been around. Thank you for being here, <part’s name>. Can you tell me how long you have been present in <your own name>’s life? (Remember, you are trying to get information from the other part here, so during the interview you want to refer to yourself in the 3rd person.)
- Ask open-ended questions to get as much detail as you can from <part’s name> that help you to understand his/her motivation.
- As you uncover more and more information, you will probably learn that this part experienced some kind of pain in your early life when trying to go after what s/he wanted. As a result of this experience, s/he may have adopted a coping strategy that kept him/her safe as a child. However, this strategy is no longer working, so you as the adult now have the opportunity to provide support to the immature part of yourself that is still using this now-dysfunctional approach.
- Make sure to express deep gratitude to <part’s name> for trying to keep YOU safe, and for working so hard to bring Being, Serenity, Love, or Oneness into your life.
- Point out that, as an adult, you now have powers and capabilities that you didn’t have as a child, and that you know that the current situation is something that you can handle. Let <part’s name> know that you are choosing to go ahead and go after what you want, and that you are prepared to deal with any risks that might show up.
- Let <part’s name> know that you really appreciate the fact that s/he is looking out for your, and welcome any additional warnings that might come your way so that you can keep the dialog open.
This process is a very powerful way to bring awareness to one of your Shadow behaviors, and to convert that Shadow from a covert saboteur into an agent that can actually help you in your future endeavors.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Easy Do-It-Yourself
This card will tell you how things are now…
Dark Forest
Shadow
Overview
Each of us has parts or aspects of ourselves that we try to keep hidden from the rest of the world. We do this—consciously or unconsciously—because we have a negative belief about those parts: they are somehow unacceptable, inappropriate, bad or wrong. And what’s worse, because these parts exist within our overall makeup, we inadvertently come to believe that we are somehow defective or broken.
As we learn in Dark Forest, the truth is that our Shadows are actually very powerful aspects of ourselves, and if we simply take the time to meet, engage, understand and eventually embrace them, we will have a much deeper and more intimate knowing of who we really are. And this has only positive implications for the kinds of lives we are destined to live.
Situation
There is something on your horizon that you really want. It could be something that you want to obtain, or something that you want to achieve. You feel a powerful kind of hunger within you to be in a space where you actually have this, whatever it is. The problem is, you also notice that there is a part of you that is holding you back in some way. The reluctance may be manifesting as a cold, tight feeling in your gut, or it may be showing up as a voice in your head that is making your desire look very dangerous—or it may be a combination of these things.
You have an unconscious belief that to achieve or obtain the thing you want will somehow end up causing you pain, so a Shadow within you is activated by that belief and is trying to hold you back from getting hurt.
Recommendation
Congratulations! You have become aware of one of your Shadows. It is probably not immediately obvious what this part of you is attempting to create with its actions; however, most of the time, when you get down to the deepest truth of the Shadow, it almost always seeks to create one of the four core states:
- Being — characterized by words like presence, fullness, wholeness, and sovereignty.
- Serenity — characterized by words like inner peace, calmness, contentedness, and safety.
- Love — characterized by words like freedom, acceptance, honesty, and unconditional love.
- Oneness — characterized by words like inclusion, belonging, family, and relationship.
If you want to find out what your Shadow is trying to accomplish, perform the steps of a simple “shadow interview”:
- Bring your full attention to the part of you that is holding you back from getting what you want. Imagine this part as another person sitting across from you. Let this part know that you simply want to get to know him/her better and understand his/her perspective.
- Find out what this part likes to be called, so you can address him/her properly. Sometimes the response to this question will be a name (could be your nick-name as a child), or it could be a role, such as “protector” or “guard dog” or some other role. Whatever name is offered, make sure to use that name for all subsequent questions.
- Ask the part how long s/he has been around. Thank you for being here, <part’s name>. Can you tell me how long you have been present in <your own name>’s life? (Remember, you are trying to get information from the other part here, so during the interview you want to refer to yourself in the 3rd person.)
- Ask open-ended questions to get as much detail as you can from <part’s name> that help you to understand his/her motivation.
- As you uncover more and more information, you will probably learn that this part experienced some kind of pain in your early life when trying to go after what s/he wanted. As a result of this experience, s/he may have adopted a coping strategy that kept him/her safe as a child. However, this strategy is no longer working, so you as the adult now have the opportunity to provide support to the immature part of yourself that is still using this now-dysfunctional approach.
- Make sure to express deep gratitude to <part’s name> for trying to keep YOU safe, and for working so hard to bring Being, Serenity, Love, or Oneness into your life.
- Point out that, as an adult, you now have powers and capabilities that you didn’t have as a child, and that you know that the current situation is something that you can handle. Let <part’s name> know that you are choosing to go ahead and go after what you want, and that you are prepared to deal with any risks that might show up.
- Let <part’s name> know that you really appreciate the fact that s/he is looking out for your, and welcome any additional warnings that might come your way so that you can keep the dialog open.
This process is a very powerful way to bring awareness to one of your Shadow behaviors, and to convert that Shadow from a covert saboteur into an agent that can actually help you in your future endeavors.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Easy Do-It-For-You…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…
Base Camp
Awareness
Overview
When you are about to set out on a journey, before you can ever hope to know how to get where you want to go, you must first be very clear about where you are right now. In other words, you must make sure you know as much as possible about your current situation, conditions, environment and circumstances.
This is Awareness, the foundational skill of Life Mastery Way. Because it is so important, we learn about it first at our centering and grounding station, what we call Base Camp. Your objective is to bring Awareness into every aspect of your life and, as much as possible, keep it present in every moment. This means being aware of what is going on in your surroundings, and also within you—that is, your emotions, thoughts and sensations.
Situation
You are going to be experiencing a situation that could create some chaos in your life. If you are not prepared, you may find yourself shaken off-center, ungrounded, and possibly disconnected from who you really are. This could have unpleasant and undesirable consequences in all areas of your life.
Recommendation
No matter what might be happening in your life, the more Awareness you can bring to it all, the easier it is to deal with whatever shows up. That is because Awareness helps you to be more present—emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. As you deepen your practice of Awareness, you tend to invite calmness and serenity with you wherever you go, which means that you also tend to be less reactive when chaotic events show up.
In preparation for whatever might be headed your way, take time each day to pause whatever you are engaged in so that you can return to a full Awareness of What Is in the present moment:
- Notice without judgment what is going on in your surroundings. Are you indoors, or out in nature? What do you see, hear, taste, smell and feel? Are there other people or animals? What are they doing? What is the loudest sound you can hear? What is the quietest? Pay attention to as much detail as you can observe.
- Bring your attention within. What sensations are you feeling on and within your body? Are you feeling cold or warm? Are you hungry or thirsty?
- Notice the quality and intensity of your emotional energy. Identify your primary emotional state. Does your emotional state seem related to the physical sensations in your body?
- What thoughts are passing through your mind? Are they somewhat inert or passive thoughts, or do they seem to carry a lot of energy or urgency? Do you find yourself thinking judgmentally about your situation or about someone in your life?
Remember to remain the Observer in this practice, and release any judgments you may have about whatever is going on.
With practice, you will elevate your Awareness to a much higher level, you will find yourself much better equipped to face whatever situation shows up in your life, and you will discover that you will approach things with a lot more equanimity.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Assetizing…
This card will tell you how things are now…
Destiny Point
Purpose
Overview
Everyone has a reason for being here in the physical world. The problem is that many of us aren’t really aware of our true Purpose. Instead, we follow our inner desires and passions (which are often influenced by ego-minds that want us to show up so as to conform to the expectations of the world), and end up in places and situations that we didn’t really have in mind. This is because we were following a default purpose instead of a true spiritual purpose.
In Destiny Point, we dive deep into the concept of Purpose and discover ways to know with conviction why we are really here. Then we take our understanding and apply it to all of our choices, agreements, and commitments going forward.
Situation
Recently, you have been experiencing a kind of aimlessness or pointlessness in your life. You have been questioning yourself and wondering why you are doing a lot of the things you are doing. You are likely noticing thoughts like the following in your mind:
- What is the point of this job | relationship | life | etc.?
- Nothing about my life makes any sense right now.
- I can’t figure out which way I’m supposed to go!
Depending on the frequency and intensity of these thoughts and stories, you may be feeling some hopelessness or despair, or possibly even some mild depression. Your condition may well be related to a disconnection from your Purpose for being.
Recommendation
Having a powerful connection to your Purpose can do wonders for improving your outlook on life. Your Purpose serves as a type of internal navigation system that can guide you in every area of your life; as such, it gives you a way to focus your energy and ensure that everything you think, say, do or feel is aligned in the best direction for your life. Being disconnected from your Purpose is much like turning off your internal navigation system. You end up driving blind, so to speak, which makes it very hard to get where you want to go. In truth, your internal navigation system is never really off-line; you may just be in a situation where you are not paying attention to it.
Reconnecting to your Purpose can be pretty straight-forward.
- Bring awareness to your situation—awareness of what is going on around you and within you. Notice, in particular, all the ways that your behavior is out of alignment with your Purpose.
- Notice whether you have deviated from your Purpose because of any external factors. Are you allowing yourself to be lured away by other things that may seem more interesting? Are you perhaps being manipulated by an unconscious desire to do things that others want you to do, even though you know they aren’t necessarily right for you? Have you perhaps forgotten your Purpose altogether?
- Whatever you discover, be gentle with yourself, and honor yourself for having the courage to be honest with yourself.
- To reconnect to your Purpose, you can do this short visualization. In a seated position with your eyes closed, allow yourself to breathe slowly and gently. As you become more relaxed, see yourself sitting at the top of a hill that allows you to see in all directions. Imagine that the world below you is exactly like the world of your deepest heart’s desire. See the people below interacting with one another in a way that supports your vision of the ideal world. See that everyone’s needs are all met, and that your world is in total harmony. Now, ask yourself this question: What part to I play in creating this world of my dreams? How do I show up to make it a reality? Allow the answers to bubble up into your awareness, knowing that they are written indelibly in your memory. Allow yourself to come back to the present moment.
- Take some time to journal your experience. Write down the words that describe the world of your dreams. These will typically be inspirational adjectives, and you may have many of them. Then write down all the things you saw yourself doing (action words) to bring that world into reality.
The combination of vision and action that you harvest from your visualization is the core of your Purpose for being. Write it down, anchor it into your body, and bring it consciously into your daily life. Let it inform everything you think, say, do or feel from this moment onward.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Automated Modeling
This card will tell you how things are now…
Alignment Ridge
Integrity
Overview
As we learn in Alignment Ridge, Integrity is a state of being in which our thoughts, words, actions and emotions are all in alignment. Being “in integrity” is a wonderful experience, and most of us know instinctively when we are there. But, as we also learn, Integrity is even more powerful when we synchronize our alignment with our sacred Purpose for being. When we create this kind of alignment, we feel inspired and motivated, perhaps even unstoppable!
No-one is “in integrity” 100% of the time; we all slip-up occasionally. Thankfully, one of the other tools we learn about in Alignment Ridge is Accountability, which enables us to perform some powerful introspection to find out how we got off track, and to create a new commitment to find our way back to our chosen path.
Situation
It has come to your attention that your thoughts, words, actions and emotions are not aligned with each other, or at odds in some way with your purpose for being. As a result, you are feeling a sense of disorientation or confusion about your life. This may be creating a story loop in your mind with thoughts similar to these:
- I have no idea where I am or where I’m supposed to be going.
- I’ve completely forgotten my commitments, and I seem to be wandering around aimlessly.
- My life is in chaos! How did this happen?
- Nothing makes sense at the moment! Why am I doing this? How did I get off track?
- <So-and-so> is going to be pissed at me; how can I make this right?
Recommendation
Being out of integrity is a pretty common state. Everyone experiences it from time to time, because, as humans, we all make mistakes. So, first and foremost, be gentle with yourself and make sure to approach this issue with love and compassion.
Begin by determining if you are out of integrity because of a broken agreement with someone else, or if you are simply out of integrity with yourself—in which case you may have forgotten or violated a commitment to yourself. Regardless of the situation, you can use this self-accountability process to get back on track.
Find a quiet place to journal your responses to the following:
- What was the agreement or commitment I failed to honor?
- What choices did I make (conscious or unconscious) that led me to slip out of integrity with respect to this agreement/commitment?
- What were the consequences of these choices?
- What possible unconscious beliefs do I have that may have led to these choices in the first place?
- What is the source of these beliefs? Where might they have originated in my earlier life?
- Now that I have a better understanding of what drove my choices, what can I do to take full responsibility for the consequences I created?
- What new commitment can I make (to myself or to the other party) so as to challenge myself to grow from this learning and to regain my alignment with my purpose?
If your agreement/commitment was with another person, you will find it very empowering and liberating to approach that person from a place of vulnerability, and own your mis-step, offer any apology if required, and re-commit to your agreement.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Cash Pumping In…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…
Garden of Mercy
Compassion
Overview
It is pretty obvious that there is a lot of suffering in the world around us. And only the coldest of people would fail to feel empathy for this suffering, or to desire to find a way—no matter how small—to relieve it, or better yet, to eradicate it altogether. This internal drive to soothe or eliminate obvious suffering is what most of us recognize as Compassion, the key skill taught in Garden of Mercy. Compassion is a powerful force that, according to the Dalai Lama, is actually a primary pathway to happiness.
Ironically, while most of us have no difficulty experiencing or expressing compassion for others, all too often we have difficulty cultivating any level of compassion for ourselves and our own suffering. This is the main focus of the teaching of Garden of Mercy.
Situation
You will soon encounter circumstances involving a loved one that will challenge your natural ability to maintain your compassionate center. The loved one in question will be embroiled in circumstances of his/her own creation, resulting from some ill-considered or unconscious choices. If you allow yourself to go into reaction mode, you will find yourself berating your loved one, and making matters worse as a result of your own upset. You may also find yourself resorting to blaming or shaming statements, and telling your loved one things like “I told you so” or “You should have known better”.
Recommendation
Sometimes our loved ones do things that get them into trouble. This can be particularly difficult if the loved ones in question are children, in which case your role as a caring parent comes into play and you feel compelled to step in and help out—especially if your child is experiencing a lot of pain or suffering as a result of his/her choice. If the loved one happens to be an adult child, then things get complicated, because now you have to balance your desire to relieve suffering with the child’s need to experience the full impact of his/her choice. Of course, if the loved one in question is not one of your children, then your response will vary accordingly.
When a loved one gets into a challenging situation of his/her own creation, and it has a direct (negative) impact on you personally, you may find it difficult to remain grounded and compassionate. One of the first things you can do in this case to help remain grounded is to remember that, at one time or another in your life, you may have made a similar choice—a choice that caused problems for a lot of people you cared about. In other words, take a moment to walk a mile in the other person’s shoes.
Remember your own situation, and the pain and suffering you caused as a result of your choice. Remember how that felt. You probably experienced some guilt or shame about it, and you probably deeply regretted what you had done, but in the face of the impact you created, people around you may not have wanted to hear about that; perhaps their reaction was less than compassionate, and it may have seemed as if they wanted you to suffer even more.
Now consider your loved one. As a result of his/her choice, s/he may be going through a very similar experience as you did, so you can empathize with this person, and you can approach him/her from a place of loving compassion. You can commiserate; you can share a little about your own experience; you can listen to understand more about the choice that was made. And when that is all done, you can help the other person find ways to make reparations.
Remember, we are all here on this physical plane to express and experience the truth of who we really are. In doing that, we sometimes make choices that cause pain for others. Whenever that happens, we must remember to treat ourselves with compassion and to forgive ourselves whenever necessary. And we must be willing to take responsibility for our choices, and make amends if appropriate.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Awakening
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…
Dark Forest
Shadow
Overview
Each of us has parts or aspects of ourselves that we try to keep hidden from the rest of the world. We do this—consciously or unconsciously—because we have a negative belief about those parts: they are somehow unacceptable, inappropriate, bad or wrong. And what’s worse, because these parts exist within our overall makeup, we inadvertently come to believe that we are somehow defective or broken.
As we learn in Dark Forest, the truth is that our Shadows are actually very powerful aspects of ourselves, and if we simply take the time to meet, engage, understand and eventually embrace them, we will have a much deeper and more intimate knowing of who we really are. And this has only positive implications for the kinds of lives we are destined to live.
Situation
Conditions are coming into being that will trigger unconscious resistance in you. You will find yourself looking for ways to avoid certain people or circumstances, and you may not be fully aware of this tendency. You may hear an inner voice warning you of some kind of unspecified danger, or strongly suggesting other activities that will keep you away from this situation.
Recommendation
When your Shadow activates, it works behind the scenes. Since it represents a part of you that you disavowed or disowned at an earlier time in your life, it tries to stay out of sight. This Shadow initially came into being because of an unconscious negative belief you took on when you were younger—likely as the result of a painful or traumatic experience—and it adopted whatever coping strategy you discovered for dealing with similar experiences that appeared to be creating the same kind of pain or trauma.
The situation today is that, even though you are much older and wiser than when you experienced the childhood pain that started this dynamic, you are still unconsciously using the same coping strategy—even though it almost certainly no longer works for you! Your Shadow is still alive and well behind the scenes, and whenever it detects a situation even remotely similar to the one that happened when you were a child, it automatically goes into self-protection mode and starts implementing its innate coping strategy. Meanwhile, you are still trying to live your life and do the things you do, but your Shadow—in its zeal to keep you safe—somehow takes over and manages to run the show, sometimes creating chaos in the process.
The solution here is for you to raise your awareness and bring your own Shadow into the light. You must remember that your Shadow is trying to create one of the four core states: Being, Serenity, Love, or Oneness. It is simply using a strategy that no longer achieves the desired result.
Create a safe and quiet place where you can relax and know you are totally safe. Do the following:
- Bring your awareness to the Shadow within you, and let it know that you are here simply to provide love and support.
- Speak to the Shadow as if it were a small child, and invite it to come closer so that you can hold it in your lap. See yourself as a loving parent who is trying to soothe his/her own little child. Just be totally present for this child, without judgment or condition, and make yourself available to listen to whatever the child has to say. Some of the following questions might be helpful:
- What do you imagine is going to happen?
- Does this remind you of something else that happened to you at a different time?
- What happened to you as a result of that similar situation?
- How did you feel because of what happened to you?
- What did you come to believe about yourself or the world because of that situation?
- And so you adopted the strategy of <describe the strategy> because it kept you safe, right?
- Once you have answers to these questions, you (as the adult) can now begin bringing some loving support to the small child. You might say something like the following:
I am really sorry that that happened to you, and that there was no-one there to protect you when you needed protection the most. I am proud of you for finding your own way to keep yourself safe. That really worked for you for a long time, so thank you for doing that. It just shows how resourceful and thoughtful you were. But I am here now. I am an adult with adult powers, and I can do things that I could not do when I was a child. I am here to keep you safe and protect you. You no longer need to take care of me—that is my job, not yours. So, I release you from your job of trying to keep me safe, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you have done for me. - You may find that the child will release some tears, and you might do the same. Just let that happen, and allow the love to flow between you.
- When you are ready, release the child, and allow him/her to go off and play, like a child should be able to do.
- Take note of how you are feeling, and embrace the full power of who you really are.
After this process is complete, you will be much better prepared to deal with future situations that trigger the pain and reaction of old wounds.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Igniting…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…
Base Camp
Awareness
Overview
When you are about to set out on a journey, before you can ever hope to know how to get where you want to go, you must first be very clear about where you are right now. In other words, you must make sure you know as much as possible about your current situation, conditions, environment and circumstances.
This is Awareness, the foundational skill of Life Mastery Way. Because it is so important, we learn about it first at our centering and grounding station, what we call Base Camp. Your objective is to bring Awareness into every aspect of your life and, as much as possible, keep it present in every moment. This means being aware of what is going on in your surroundings, and also within you—that is, your emotions, thoughts and sensations.
Situation
You are going to be experiencing a situation that could create some chaos in your life. If you are not prepared, you may find yourself shaken off-center, ungrounded, and possibly disconnected from who you really are. This could have unpleasant and undesirable consequences in all areas of your life.
Recommendation
No matter what might be happening in your life, the more Awareness you can bring to it all, the easier it is to deal with whatever shows up. That is because Awareness helps you to be more present—emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. As you deepen your practice of Awareness, you tend to invite calmness and serenity with you wherever you go, which means that you also tend to be less reactive when chaotic events show up.
In preparation for whatever might be headed your way, take time each day to pause whatever you are engaged in so that you can return to a full Awareness of What Is in the present moment:
- Notice without judgment what is going on in your surroundings. Are you indoors, or out in nature? What do you see, hear, taste, smell and feel? Are there other people or animals? What are they doing? What is the loudest sound you can hear? What is the quietest? Pay attention to as much detail as you can observe.
- Bring your attention within. What sensations are you feeling on and within your body? Are you feeling cold or warm? Are you hungry or thirsty?
- Notice the quality and intensity of your emotional energy. Identify your primary emotional state. Does your emotional state seem related to the physical sensations in your body?
- What thoughts are passing through your mind? Are they somewhat inert or passive thoughts, or do they seem to carry a lot of energy or urgency? Do you find yourself thinking judgmentally about your situation or about someone in your life?
Remember to remain the Observer in this practice, and release any judgments you may have about whatever is going on.
With practice, you will elevate your Awareness to a much higher level, you will find yourself much better equipped to face whatever situation shows up in your life, and you will discover that you will approach things with a lot more equanimity.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Focusing…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…
Dark Forest
Shadow
Overview
Each of us has parts or aspects of ourselves that we try to keep hidden from the rest of the world. We do this—consciously or unconsciously—because we have a negative belief about those parts: they are somehow unacceptable, inappropriate, bad or wrong. And what’s worse, because these parts exist within our overall makeup, we inadvertently come to believe that we are somehow defective or broken.
As we learn in Dark Forest, the truth is that our Shadows are actually very powerful aspects of ourselves, and if we simply take the time to meet, engage, understand and eventually embrace them, we will have a much deeper and more intimate knowing of who we really are. And this has only positive implications for the kinds of lives we are destined to live.
Situation
Conditions are coming into being that will trigger unconscious resistance in you. You will find yourself looking for ways to avoid certain people or circumstances, and you may not be fully aware of this tendency. You may hear an inner voice warning you of some kind of unspecified danger, or strongly suggesting other activities that will keep you away from this situation.
Recommendation
When your Shadow activates, it works behind the scenes. Since it represents a part of you that you disavowed or disowned at an earlier time in your life, it tries to stay out of sight. This Shadow initially came into being because of an unconscious negative belief you took on when you were younger—likely as the result of a painful or traumatic experience—and it adopted whatever coping strategy you discovered for dealing with similar experiences that appeared to be creating the same kind of pain or trauma.
The situation today is that, even though you are much older and wiser than when you experienced the childhood pain that started this dynamic, you are still unconsciously using the same coping strategy—even though it almost certainly no longer works for you! Your Shadow is still alive and well behind the scenes, and whenever it detects a situation even remotely similar to the one that happened when you were a child, it automatically goes into self-protection mode and starts implementing its innate coping strategy. Meanwhile, you are still trying to live your life and do the things you do, but your Shadow—in its zeal to keep you safe—somehow takes over and manages to run the show, sometimes creating chaos in the process.
The solution here is for you to raise your awareness and bring your own Shadow into the light. You must remember that your Shadow is trying to create one of the four core states: Being, Serenity, Love, or Oneness. It is simply using a strategy that no longer achieves the desired result.
Create a safe and quiet place where you can relax and know you are totally safe. Do the following:
- Bring your awareness to the Shadow within you, and let it know that you are here simply to provide love and support.
- Speak to the Shadow as if it were a small child, and invite it to come closer so that you can hold it in your lap. See yourself as a loving parent who is trying to soothe his/her own little child. Just be totally present for this child, without judgment or condition, and make yourself available to listen to whatever the child has to say. Some of the following questions might be helpful:
- What do you imagine is going to happen?
- Does this remind you of something else that happened to you at a different time?
- What happened to you as a result of that similar situation?
- How did you feel because of what happened to you?
- What did you come to believe about yourself or the world because of that situation?
- And so you adopted the strategy of <describe the strategy> because it kept you safe, right?
- Once you have answers to these questions, you (as the adult) can now begin bringing some loving support to the small child. You might say something like the following:
I am really sorry that that happened to you, and that there was no-one there to protect you when you needed protection the most. I am proud of you for finding your own way to keep yourself safe. That really worked for you for a long time, so thank you for doing that. It just shows how resourceful and thoughtful you were. But I am here now. I am an adult with adult powers, and I can do things that I could not do when I was a child. I am here to keep you safe and protect you. You no longer need to take care of me—that is my job, not yours. So, I release you from your job of trying to keep me safe, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you have done for me. - You may find that the child will release some tears, and you might do the same. Just let that happen, and allow the love to flow between you.
- When you are ready, release the child, and allow him/her to go off and play, like a child should be able to do.
- Take note of how you are feeling, and embrace the full power of who you really are.
After this process is complete, you will be much better prepared to deal with future situations that trigger the pain and reaction of old wounds.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).