What Is Your Ideal Lifestyle…
Discover What Is and What is To Be on Your Journey of Life…
Click the two cards below to see what Present and Future you have drawn. Then click again to get the description and recommendations for your specific situation. Watch for follow-up emails with even more information to guide you…
Be sure to write down the names of your two cards, so you can access additional information later.
Passive Income Lifestyle
This card will tell you how things are now…
River of Grace
Flow
Overview
When we come into the physical world, we arrive in a state of sacred flow. We are excited and happy to be in our new surroundings, full of curiosity, and eager to venture onto the path of our adventures. We aren’t troubled by the past or worried about the future; we are simply present in the here-and-now, full of wonder for whatever shows up next.
But soon enough, life happens, and we find ourselves bound and restricted by ever more complicated rules and guidelines and demands. Soon enough, the sacred flow is nowhere to be found, and life becomes more of a struggle and challenge than an adventure.
When we visit River of Grace, we are gently and lovingly reminded of the natural state we arrived in. Here, we learn about Flow—the idea of presence in action—and how we can reclaim it and maintain it in our everyday life.
Situation
You have been experiencing a sense of disorientation or confusion lately because you are disconnected from your grounded center. You may be experiencing sadness or anger about something that happened in your past, or you may be experiencing fear about something that you expect to happen in the future. Whatever the case, you are having a great deal of difficulty staying present in the here-and-now, which means that you are unable to focus for any length of time on important items on your current to-do list. This is having negative consequences in all areas of your life, but is probably showing up most intensely in your relationships with loved ones, and slightly less intensely in your decision making abilities.
Recommendation
To regain your sense of presence in action, begin by bringing your full attention to your emotional state. Find a quiet place to sit and relax, and take several deep, slow, cleansing breaths.
As you feel your awareness and presence begin to increase, bring your focus internally to what you are feeling. If you have been obsessing over something from your past, then you will likely be feeling sadness relating to some kind of loss, or anger due to a boundary violation or failing to get something you really wanted. If you have been worrying about something in your future, then you are likely feeling fear about what you imagine may be coming your way. Without judging, simply observe your feelings, and where and how they are manifesting in your body.
Once you have identified your feelings, give yourself unconditional permission to feel them. Open yourself up, so that the emotional energy can simply flow through you and out of you. Some of the this energy may be uncomfortable or painful, but if you allow it to pass through you, the pain and/or discomfort will dissipate relatively quickly.
When the unpleasant energy diminishes to a low enough level, consciously and intentionally invite in warm, healing, loving energy to replace it. Allow this new feeling to fill your entire body, beginning at your belly and emanating to your extremities. Notice a sense of aliveness and presence growing more and more powerful within you.
Anchor this new feeling in your body and remind yourself that you can reconnect to it any time you want to—no matter what might be going on in your life. Take this Flow back into your life, and enjoy the reconnection to your natural state. Let this feeling inform all your thoughts, words, actions and emotions going forward.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Easy Do-It-Yourself
This card will tell you how things are now…
Base Camp
Awareness
Overview
When you are about to set out on a journey, before you can ever hope to know how to get where you want to go, you must first be very clear about where you are right now. In other words, you must make sure you know as much as possible about your current situation, conditions, environment and circumstances.
This is Awareness, the foundational skill of Life Mastery Way. Because it is so important, we learn about it first at our centering and grounding station, what we call Base Camp. Your objective is to bring Awareness into every aspect of your life and, as much as possible, keep it present in every moment. This means being aware of what is going on in your surroundings, and also within you—that is, your emotions, thoughts and sensations.
Situation
Lately, you have been operating much like a sleep-walker. That is, you have slipped into an unconscious behavior pattern; it may seem as if you are flying on auto-pilot. Obviously, you have not done this deliberately, but you are probably experiencing moments where you think things like these:
- How did I get here? I don’t remember the last 30 minutes.
- I am way off-kilter here; I seem to be bouncing around from one thing to another with no sense of direction.
- I am totally confused and disoriented; I need to get back on track.
Recommendation
It is important to stop whatever you are doing, at least until you can bring more Awareness into your current situation. Find a quiet place where you can sit and relax. Take a few deep cleansing breaths and bring awareness to all aspects of your situation.
External Inventory
Take stock of everything around you, and bring your focus to as many details as possible. Notice the shapes and colors of all objects around you. Notice the temperature of the room or the space. If you are outdoors, take not of the details of the weather conditions. Are there people or animals around, or are you alone? What kind of objects are around you? Just notice as much as you can without making up any story or drawing any judgments or conclusions about any of it.
Internal Inventory
Now bring your attention to your body. Notice any physical sensations that you might be feeling: cold/hot, relaxed/tense, hungry, clammy, shivery, etc. Again, avoid any judgment or interpretation; just take stock.
Next, notice the emotions that you are feeling. Try to limit your words to one of the four primary emotions: sadness, fear, anger, or joy. Is it a strong or weak emotion at this time? How long have you been feeling this emotion? Again, no judgment; just observation.
Finally, bring your attention to your thoughts. What are you thinking? Are your thoughts related to a common theme? Do you notice a judgmental or interpretational quality to your thoughts? How long have these thoughts been present in your mind?
Introspection
Now that you have elevated your awareness about your current internal and external state, take a few moments to see if you can peek under the covers and find out more about how you came to be in this state. Here are a few questions you can ask yourself—remember not to judge yourself for your current state:
- How did I attract my current situation into my life?
- What is the purpose for my current behavior?
- In what ways are my thoughts, words, actions and emotions aligned with my purpose?
- In what ways are they out of alignment?
- Do I wish to change this situation? If so, what new choice will I make?
Final Steps
Once you are complete with this process, take some time to honor yourself for having had sufficient
Awareness to know that you were operating unconsciously, and for having the courage to look inside to find out what was really going on. Notice how you are feeling now, and take this new feeling into the next phase of your life.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Easy Do-It-For-You…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…
Ayuwi Circle
Relationship
Overview
Imagine a world in which you are completely alone. No other people. No animals or plants. No other life of any kind. And no inanimate objects of any kind, either. Sounds pretty desolate, to be sure. And yet, if you think about it for a moment, you might ask yourself this question: in the absence of all these things, how would you know who YOU really are?
It is a perplexing question, one well worth considering, for it brings us all face-to-face with a head-slapping realization: that we need all those other things (people, animals, inanimate objects, and so on) in our lives so that we can relate to them. And by relating to all those entities, we get to experience ourselves for who we really are.
That is what Ayuwi Circle teaches us: that Relationship is the single most powerful tool available to us in the physical realm for fully expressing and experiencing who we really are. In other words, relationships—all relationships—are sacred!
Situation
You are headed for troubled waters in one of your closest relationships. The other person will engage in a seemingly trivial behavior that will trigger a reaction within you. However, in the interest of “keeping the peace”, you will minimize the event and decide not mention it. In the following days or weeks, the other person will engage in other “trivial” behaviors that you will also minimize and stay silent about. Eventually, the build up of energy from your silent reactions will reach a breaking point, and you will react in a much more emotional, possibly even explosive, way.
Recommendation
The scenario described above is not uncommon, especially in close or intimate relationships. The problem is, we value our primary relationships and we want them to go well, so we may find ourselves choosing not to mention these so-called “trivial” problems because we believe that we’ll be seen as petty or nagging.
Unfortunately, if you withhold the truth about the internal reaction you are experiencing because of something your partner does, you are inadvertently creating a barrier to closer communication with him/her. It may be a very small barrier at first, and your partner may not even notice. But when the next trigger or “ouch” occurs and you again choose to remain silent, then you are effectively adding another “brick” in the wall between you and your partner. As more and more “bricks” are added, you become more and more sensitive to the things that your partner does, and soon enough, you won’t be able to contain your reaction anymore, and you will will over-react in a way that makes no sense at all to your partner!
To avoid this kind of problem, it really helps to develop a relationship practice of Sharing Withholds. This is a highly conscious process that requires you to step through your fear and into your courage, in order to share with your partner what is going on for you. The process in NOT about shaming or blaming your partner for whatever s/he did, nor is it about trying to get him/her to change in any way. Rather, it is about honestly and vulnerably sharing your own reaction—using Self-Responsible First Person Communication. It goes like this:
- Connect to your inner compassion and unconditional love, and approach your partner. Say something like this: Partner, I have a withhold I’d like to share with you. Are you willing to hear it? If your partner says yes, then continue with the process; otherwise, ask for a time when s/he’d be willing to hear what you have to say and come back later.
- Continue with your own share: Thank you for being available for this. When you did <describe the behavior without judgment>, I found myself feeling triggered. I felt <describe what you were feeling> and I noticed that I began reacting internally the way I reacted as a child whenever <describe the childhood situation that caused you pain>. I know you are not my <parent/guardian/whoever may have caused this pain>, and I do not want to create distance from you. I just wanted to share this with you so that you understand what’s going on for me.
- Pause to allow your partner to digest what you have shared. Your partner should simply say, Thank you for sharing this with me. Would you like me to respond to your share?
- You can say yes or no, whatever seems true for you in the moment. This may or may not lead to further discussion with your partner.
- Close the process with a shared hug, as appropriate in your relationship.
If you and your partner practice this kind of sharing on a regular basis, you will find your relationship growing stronger by the day.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Assetizing…
This card will tell you how things are now…
Sacred Mirror Falls
Identity
Overview
People everywhere experience societal pressure to conform to what others expect of them. We are drilled from a very early age to be nice, to fit in, to put others’ needs ahead of our own, and so on. We are told not to rock the boat, not to make waves. And if by chance we fail to abide by all these rules, then we run the risk of losing someone’s disapproval, or maybe being shunned, or even worse.
Unfortunately, in order to meet the demands of these rules and regulations, we often end up disowning ourselves. We put on masks and costumes in order to appear publicly the way we believe others want to see us. In doing so, our true selves get lost, and we often end up feeling unhappy, disillusioned, depressed or angry.
In Sacred Mirror Falls, you are taken into a deep exploration of Identity—that is, the essence and meaning of who you really are—and how you can maintain your sovereignty and uniqueness while still honoring the protocols that society puts in place.
Situation
You are showing up in your life in ways that you believe other people want to experience you. This could manifest in a variety of ways:
- You may be putting aside your own wants and needs in order to accommodate the wants and needs of others.
- You may be saying (or doing) things in order to avoid confrontation or conflict, rather than speaking your genuine truth.
- You may be resorting to humor, perhaps even to excess, in order to get people to like you or approve of you.
- You may be adopting a perfectionist approach to your life out of some unconscious belief that it is not okay to make mistakes.
These strategies, and others like them, may actually work to some extent in getting the kind of approval or acknowledgment you are seeking. But they also have a negative impact on your self-worth, because deep down inside you know you are not being your authentic self, and one thing you want more than counterfeit approval or acknowledgment is to be seen and experienced for who you really are.
Recommendation
At the moment, you are being driven by unconscious beliefs about how life operates, so it is important to shed light on these beliefs so that you can understand and accept them for what they are. This will require some deep and tender introspection. You can begin by asking yourself questions like the following:
- What are my beliefs about how I’m supposed to show up in the world?
- What are my beliefs about how the world responds to me?
- How did I come to believe that I am obligated to please others or put my needs aside for them?
- What might happen if I spoke my truth in all situations, rather than trying to avoid conflict all the time?
- What would I lose if I stopped being the “joker” or “class clown“?
Bring compassion and forgiveness to yourself as you ask these questions. Try not to judge yourself in any way; simply observe your answers and notice how you feel about them.
In your soul, you know that it is possible to accommodate people’s wants and needs without compromising your own. It is possible to bring authentic humor into situations when it is called for. It is possible to speak your truth in virtually all situations while still honoring the truth of others. It is possible to aim for perfection while allowing mistakes to guide you.
You also know it is possible for YOU to show up vulnerably and authentically as the shining light you are—while still allowing space for other’s lights to shine just as brightly. So, the real questions you can ask to get you back onto your true path are questions like these:
- How can I show up in authentically in the world while honoring the authenticity of others?
- How can I honor the wants and needs of others without compromising my own?
- How can I speak my truth consistently and reduce the likelihood of conflict?
- How can I allow the gentle flow of my natural humor in a way that contributes to every situation?
You will notice that all these questions begin with How can I… When you ask questions in this powerful way, you are inviting the Universe to feed authentic answers to you through your Soul. So, when you ask them, make sure you maintain your awareness so that you’ll be ready when the answers appear.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Automated Modeling
This card will tell you how things are now…
Karma Crossroads
Choice
Overview
One thing that we all have available to us in every moment is Choice. It may not always seem that way, though.
Sometimes, some of the alternatives available to us may be completely unacceptable for any number of reasons, so it may seem that there is only one viable option, even if that last remaining option is distasteful—in which case, it is usually the least of all evils. When this happens, we may think that we really have no choice at all—or that we are forced into something we didn’t really want.
In other circumstances, we may be making our choices unconsciously. In this case, we may be operating on “auto-pilot”, making decisions without even being aware. The problem here is that, when we aren’t aware of our choices, then we are certainly not aware of their impact, and we may not realize how our actions are affecting the world around us.
In Karma Crossroads, we look at the concept of Choice in a new way, and we learn how to make our choices both consciously and responsibly.
Situation
Lately, you have been making a lot of your choices unconsciously, and you are now becoming aware of some of the unintended consequences of those choices. Some of the people around you are beginning to express displeasure or even upset because of your words or actions. Some of them may even be describing pain in their relationship with you. And now, you are beginning to feel internal guilt or shame because of the current situation, and the voice inside your head may be berating you for some of these choices, with words like:
- How could you be so bone-headed as to make a decision like that?
- What on earth were you thinking? You should have known this would happen.
In addition, you are feeling significant emotional pain of your own right now, worrying that you may not be able to make things right.
Recommendation
The first thing you must realize is that you cannot respond to anything anyone is saying to you from a place of knee-jerk reaction. The easiest way to deal with people who are upset with you right now is simply to say to them: I’m sorry to hear that you are upset, and I thank you for your feedback. I am not in a space to respond right now, but I will consider what you’ve said and get back to you later today. Then, find yourself a safe and quiet space where you can do some gentle and loving introspection.
As with all Life Mastery processes, begin by getting yourself into a relaxing position and take some slow deep breaths to help raise your awareness. Notice what is going on around you and within you and allow yourself to observe everything without judgment or interpretation.
As your level of relaxation and awareness increase, do a time scan over the recent past to observe the choices you have made. Pay close attention to the energy you had when you made those choices. Were you under some kind of pressure that led you to choose without putting your full attention and intention into those choices? Or were you simply operating on “auto-pilot”? Whatever the case, simply observe without judgment or interpretation.
As you become aware of all of the choices you made without due consideration of possible consequences, forgive yourself for slipping into unconsciousness, and make a personal commitment to bring consciousness and intention into all of your choices going forward.
After you have completed this introspection, you can take a few more deep breaths, and honor yourself for doing the work necessary to take responsible stock of all of the choices you have made.
When you are ready, return to the people who have confronted you and take full ownership of the choices you made and why you made them. If necessary, apologize for any unintended consequences you may have created, and commit to those people your intention to choose more consciously in the future.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Cash Pumping In…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…
Sacred Mirror Falls
Identity
Overview
People everywhere experience societal pressure to conform to what others expect of them. We are drilled from a very early age to be nice, to fit in, to put others’ needs ahead of our own, and so on. We are told not to rock the boat, not to make waves. And if by chance we fail to abide by all these rules, then we run the risk of losing someone’s disapproval, or maybe being shunned, or even worse.
Unfortunately, in order to meet the demands of these rules and regulations, we often end up disowning ourselves. We put on masks and costumes in order to appear publicly the way we believe others want to see us. In doing so, our true selves get lost, and we often end up feeling unhappy, disillusioned, depressed or angry.
In Sacred Mirror Falls, you are taken into a deep exploration of Identity—that is, the essence and meaning of who you really are—and how you can maintain your sovereignty and uniqueness while still honoring the protocols that society puts in place.
Situation
You have been going about your business in your usual way, being nice to others, trying to accommodate everyone’s needs, and making sure you don’t make waves. However, you will soon be placed in a situation that will require you to choose between being nice and being real. You will not be able to avoid confrontation or conflict in this situation; you will be faced with the realization that your desire for “smooth sailing” may require you to manhandle your “boat” in ways you have never done before.
Recommendation
If you think of yourself as a “people pleaser”, as someone who defers to almost everyone else in your life, then you may be disowning your sovereignty as a Human Being without realizing it; however, the pain of disowning yourself may be showing up in subtle ways in your life. The time has come for you to reclaim the truth of who you really are, rather than who you think you are, and this will require you to stand in the truth of your own power—even if someone else feels uncomfortable because of it.
The truth is, you have no control over how other people feel or how they react, no matter how much you may believe this. You may have inadvertently deluded yourself into believing that your being nice keeps the peace and makes other people happy. But that’s just an illusion. You cannot make everyone like you, no matter how hard you try; the most you can do is love yourself, and allow that love to flow into the world unconditionally.
You must practice standing your own ground. This does not mean getting into confrontations with people for no reason; it simply means being true to yourself, without compromise, and without apology. You don’t have to be mean about this; you can still maintain a high level of compassion for others and retain your pleasant demeanor. However, when you are faced with a situation that may lead to conflict because someone doesn’t agree with you, you can hold your ground simply by listening to what the other person says—with a desire to deepen your understanding of his/her position. You may find common ground in that understanding—in which case you will likely avoid conflict altogether—but even if you don’t, you can still stand by your own convictions from a place of compassion.
Never compromise the truth of who you are in order to please someone else. The cost to you is much too high.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Awakening
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…
Karma Crossroads
Choice
Overview
One thing that we all have available to us in every moment is Choice. It may not always seem that way, though.
Sometimes, some of the alternatives available to us may be completely unacceptable for any number of reasons, so it may seem that there is only one viable option, even if that last remaining option is distasteful—in which case, it is usually the least of all evils. When this happens, we may think that we really have no choice at all—or that we are forced into something we didn’t really want.
In other circumstances, we may be making our choices unconsciously. In this case, we may be operating on “auto-pilot”, making decisions without even being aware. The problem here is that, when we aren’t aware of our choices, then we are certainly not aware of their impact, and we may not realize how our actions are affecting the world around us.
In Karma Crossroads, we look at the concept of Choice in a new way, and we learn how to make our choices both consciously and responsibly.
Situation
New circumstances are approaching which will require you to make some potentially life-changing decisions. Your past tendency to put decisions of this type off until they “resolve themselves” may have worked to some degree for you in the past, but that approach is not going to work for you this time. If you apply that strategy in this case, the unintended consequences could create a lot of chaos—not to mention unpleasantness, pain and/or suffering—in your life.
Recommendation
Even a decision to do nothing is a choice—and it may be exactly the right choice for you under certain circumstances. But be clear: doing nothing is simply one of your available options. As long as you have examined all the options and evaluated their possible outcomes, then you are making that choice consciously—which is really the most important thing for you.
In order to prepare for whatever might be coming your way, you would be well advised to practice making all your choices as consciously as possible. The more important the situation, the more important the choice process. For every situation that shows up in your life, practice the following:
- Examine and enumerate all the relevant options that are available. Write a list and make sure you haven’t missed anything.
- For each option you have noted, write down all the relevant pros and cons you can think of. Include as much detail as you can for each one.
- Run through the option list again, and this time, for each option, rate your level of enthusiasm on a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 is “not so crazy about it”, and 10 is “can’t wait to get started.”
- For each of the most highly rated options (i.e. the ones you rated at 6 or higher), make a list of all the possible consequences that might come to pass if you make that choice. Notice whether you would be willing to take responsibility for that consequence or not.
When you have completed this process, you will have a very good idea which option is likely to produce the most desirable outcome—and whose unintended consequences you’d be most willing to accept. In this way, you are much better equipped to make a conscious, well-informed choice for which you’d be willing to take full responsibility.
This may seem like a lot to do for every choice that comes your way, so use it only for choices that feel really important to you. Also, the more you practice this process, the more efficient you will become, and soon the process will become for you more like a powerful meditation than a chore.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Igniting…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…
Dark Forest
Shadow
Overview
Each of us has parts or aspects of ourselves that we try to keep hidden from the rest of the world. We do this—consciously or unconsciously—because we have a negative belief about those parts: they are somehow unacceptable, inappropriate, bad or wrong. And what’s worse, because these parts exist within our overall makeup, we inadvertently come to believe that we are somehow defective or broken.
As we learn in Dark Forest, the truth is that our Shadows are actually very powerful aspects of ourselves, and if we simply take the time to meet, engage, understand and eventually embrace them, we will have a much deeper and more intimate knowing of who we really are. And this has only positive implications for the kinds of lives we are destined to live.
Situation
Conditions are coming into being that will trigger unconscious resistance in you. You will find yourself looking for ways to avoid certain people or circumstances, and you may not be fully aware of this tendency. You may hear an inner voice warning you of some kind of unspecified danger, or strongly suggesting other activities that will keep you away from this situation.
Recommendation
When your Shadow activates, it works behind the scenes. Since it represents a part of you that you disavowed or disowned at an earlier time in your life, it tries to stay out of sight. This Shadow initially came into being because of an unconscious negative belief you took on when you were younger—likely as the result of a painful or traumatic experience—and it adopted whatever coping strategy you discovered for dealing with similar experiences that appeared to be creating the same kind of pain or trauma.
The situation today is that, even though you are much older and wiser than when you experienced the childhood pain that started this dynamic, you are still unconsciously using the same coping strategy—even though it almost certainly no longer works for you! Your Shadow is still alive and well behind the scenes, and whenever it detects a situation even remotely similar to the one that happened when you were a child, it automatically goes into self-protection mode and starts implementing its innate coping strategy. Meanwhile, you are still trying to live your life and do the things you do, but your Shadow—in its zeal to keep you safe—somehow takes over and manages to run the show, sometimes creating chaos in the process.
The solution here is for you to raise your awareness and bring your own Shadow into the light. You must remember that your Shadow is trying to create one of the four core states: Being, Serenity, Love, or Oneness. It is simply using a strategy that no longer achieves the desired result.
Create a safe and quiet place where you can relax and know you are totally safe. Do the following:
- Bring your awareness to the Shadow within you, and let it know that you are here simply to provide love and support.
- Speak to the Shadow as if it were a small child, and invite it to come closer so that you can hold it in your lap. See yourself as a loving parent who is trying to soothe his/her own little child. Just be totally present for this child, without judgment or condition, and make yourself available to listen to whatever the child has to say. Some of the following questions might be helpful:
- What do you imagine is going to happen?
- Does this remind you of something else that happened to you at a different time?
- What happened to you as a result of that similar situation?
- How did you feel because of what happened to you?
- What did you come to believe about yourself or the world because of that situation?
- And so you adopted the strategy of <describe the strategy> because it kept you safe, right?
- Once you have answers to these questions, you (as the adult) can now begin bringing some loving support to the small child. You might say something like the following:
I am really sorry that that happened to you, and that there was no-one there to protect you when you needed protection the most. I am proud of you for finding your own way to keep yourself safe. That really worked for you for a long time, so thank you for doing that. It just shows how resourceful and thoughtful you were. But I am here now. I am an adult with adult powers, and I can do things that I could not do when I was a child. I am here to keep you safe and protect you. You no longer need to take care of me—that is my job, not yours. So, I release you from your job of trying to keep me safe, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you have done for me. - You may find that the child will release some tears, and you might do the same. Just let that happen, and allow the love to flow between you.
- When you are ready, release the child, and allow him/her to go off and play, like a child should be able to do.
- Take note of how you are feeling, and embrace the full power of who you really are.
After this process is complete, you will be much better prepared to deal with future situations that trigger the pain and reaction of old wounds.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Focusing…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…
Dark Forest
Shadow
Overview
Each of us has parts or aspects of ourselves that we try to keep hidden from the rest of the world. We do this—consciously or unconsciously—because we have a negative belief about those parts: they are somehow unacceptable, inappropriate, bad or wrong. And what’s worse, because these parts exist within our overall makeup, we inadvertently come to believe that we are somehow defective or broken.
As we learn in Dark Forest, the truth is that our Shadows are actually very powerful aspects of ourselves, and if we simply take the time to meet, engage, understand and eventually embrace them, we will have a much deeper and more intimate knowing of who we really are. And this has only positive implications for the kinds of lives we are destined to live.
Situation
Conditions are coming into being that will trigger unconscious resistance in you. You will find yourself looking for ways to avoid certain people or circumstances, and you may not be fully aware of this tendency. You may hear an inner voice warning you of some kind of unspecified danger, or strongly suggesting other activities that will keep you away from this situation.
Recommendation
When your Shadow activates, it works behind the scenes. Since it represents a part of you that you disavowed or disowned at an earlier time in your life, it tries to stay out of sight. This Shadow initially came into being because of an unconscious negative belief you took on when you were younger—likely as the result of a painful or traumatic experience—and it adopted whatever coping strategy you discovered for dealing with similar experiences that appeared to be creating the same kind of pain or trauma.
The situation today is that, even though you are much older and wiser than when you experienced the childhood pain that started this dynamic, you are still unconsciously using the same coping strategy—even though it almost certainly no longer works for you! Your Shadow is still alive and well behind the scenes, and whenever it detects a situation even remotely similar to the one that happened when you were a child, it automatically goes into self-protection mode and starts implementing its innate coping strategy. Meanwhile, you are still trying to live your life and do the things you do, but your Shadow—in its zeal to keep you safe—somehow takes over and manages to run the show, sometimes creating chaos in the process.
The solution here is for you to raise your awareness and bring your own Shadow into the light. You must remember that your Shadow is trying to create one of the four core states: Being, Serenity, Love, or Oneness. It is simply using a strategy that no longer achieves the desired result.
Create a safe and quiet place where you can relax and know you are totally safe. Do the following:
- Bring your awareness to the Shadow within you, and let it know that you are here simply to provide love and support.
- Speak to the Shadow as if it were a small child, and invite it to come closer so that you can hold it in your lap. See yourself as a loving parent who is trying to soothe his/her own little child. Just be totally present for this child, without judgment or condition, and make yourself available to listen to whatever the child has to say. Some of the following questions might be helpful:
- What do you imagine is going to happen?
- Does this remind you of something else that happened to you at a different time?
- What happened to you as a result of that similar situation?
- How did you feel because of what happened to you?
- What did you come to believe about yourself or the world because of that situation?
- And so you adopted the strategy of <describe the strategy> because it kept you safe, right?
- Once you have answers to these questions, you (as the adult) can now begin bringing some loving support to the small child. You might say something like the following:
I am really sorry that that happened to you, and that there was no-one there to protect you when you needed protection the most. I am proud of you for finding your own way to keep yourself safe. That really worked for you for a long time, so thank you for doing that. It just shows how resourceful and thoughtful you were. But I am here now. I am an adult with adult powers, and I can do things that I could not do when I was a child. I am here to keep you safe and protect you. You no longer need to take care of me—that is my job, not yours. So, I release you from your job of trying to keep me safe, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you have done for me. - You may find that the child will release some tears, and you might do the same. Just let that happen, and allow the love to flow between you.
- When you are ready, release the child, and allow him/her to go off and play, like a child should be able to do.
- Take note of how you are feeling, and embrace the full power of who you really are.
After this process is complete, you will be much better prepared to deal with future situations that trigger the pain and reaction of old wounds.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).