What Is Your Ideal Lifestyle…
Discover What Is and What is To Be on Your Journey of Life…
Click the two cards below to see what Present and Future you have drawn. Then click again to get the description and recommendations for your specific situation. Watch for follow-up emails with even more information to guide you…
Be sure to write down the names of your two cards, so you can access additional information later.
Passive Income Lifestyle
This card will tell you how things are now…
Nama Station
Forgiveness
Overview
When we are caught up in the dramas of our ego-minds, it is easy for us to fall into the habit of playing the BS Game—that is, the “Blame-Shame Game”. When someone else does something that causes us discomfort, upset or pain, we put ourselves into the role of victim and the other person into the role of perpetrator. In this way, we give all our power away to the perpetrator—who may not even be aware of the fact that s/he has done something “wrong”. In allowing ourselves to slip into this finger-pointing pattern, we often end up creating even more pain and upset for ourselves, while secretly hoping for the other person to suffer.
Nama Station teaches us about the powerful healing capabilities of Forgiveness, a tool whose sole purpose is to give ourselves permission to release ourselves from our own pain and suffering. When we forgive, it really has nothing to do with the so-called perpetrator! It is really all about letting go of something over which we have no control, and—without forgetting or condoning or agreeing with actual bad behavior—releasing ourselves from the prison of our own negative thinking, and reclaiming our power.
Situation
Somebody in your life has said or done something to you that seemed to come from malicious intent, and it has been causing you a lot of internal upset and emotional pain. The event in question happened at some time in the past—perhaps even the distant past—but it continues to haunt you today. The other person has not apologized or taken responsibility for the event, and apparently does not see things the same way you do. Worse, the other person doesn’t seem to recognize or acknowledge the pain that s/he caused you, and this is adding to your ongoing anger and resentment. You find yourself wishing the worst for this person, perhaps even dreaming of violence or retribution.
Whether this situation happened relatively recently or sometime in the more distant past, the fact that you are dwelling on it now is causing you a great deal of discomfort, upset or pain.
Recommendation
First and foremost is Safety. It is assumed in this discussion that you have taken all necessary steps to protect yourself from any potentially dangerous conditions or situations, and that, if appropriate, you have also alerted any law enforcement or other relevant support personnel.
It is important for you to find a way to quiet the voices in your head so that you can return to a grounded, centered state. One of the best ways for you to do this is to Forgive the person who is holding your ego-mind hostage. It may seem like a very difficult task right now, but if you can remember that Forgiveness is not about condoning or forgetting someone else’s behavior, or letting him/her off the hook, and that it is really about giving yourself permission to release yourself from the pain you are creating by keeping the situation alive in your mind, then you will find it much easier to find Forgiveness in your heart—and this will quickly bring healing into your life.
When you are in a safe and quiet place, go through the 5 simple steps below:
- Understand the wrong-doing. What actually happened? Was it done deliberately, or did it happen by accident? Do you know the perptrator’s real intention or motivation, or is that something you are simply making up as part of your ego-mind story? What were the consequences? Which consequences were the direct result of the perpetrator’s actions, and which ones are the result of your own thinking patterns?
- Acknowledge and validate your judgments and feelings. Notice what kinds of thoughts and judgments you have about the perpetrator. Are you attached to “getting even” or finding justice or having your revenge? What do you imagine you might gain by following through on your vengeful thoughts? What are you feeling emotionally about all of this?
- Express and release your emotional energy. Allow yourself to fully experience and express the emotional energy associated with this situation. Some of this energy may be locked in place because of previous attempts to “stuff it”, so give yourself permission to feel it all. Allow it to pass through you so that the pain dissipates and eventually disappears.
- Own your part in the situation. This is not about making yourself wrong for whatever happened; it’s part of the process for raising awareness about your part of the situation. Did you do something that might have triggered the other person’s behavior? Was there a part of you that derived pleasure from pushing the other person’s buttons? Did you do something after the fact to make matters worse? Could you have done anything to improve, mitigate or resolve the situation?
- Re-connect to compassion and unconditional love. After your emotional energy has passed and you have honestly reflected on the whole situation, allow yourself to reconnect naturally and gently to compassion. Find a place of compassion for the other person, who may have been (and may still be) suffering from struggles of his or her own. Find a place of compassion for yourself and whatever struggle you’ve been going through, and release yourself from thoughts of revenge. Give yourself permission to forgive the other person; in the quiet silence of your mind, simply say “I forgive you.” At the same time, give yourself permission to forgive yourself; in your mind imagine that you are speaking to yourself, and say silently “I forgive you.”
You may need to go through this exercise a few times before all of the energy completely dissipates. Remember, the other person does not need to know you are doing this—the exercise is completely for you, and you alone. But do notice how much lighter and more open you feel each time you complete the exercise. Invite and embrace that lightness, and allow it to inform the way you show up going forward.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Easy Do-It-Yourself
This card will tell you how things are now…
Destiny Point
Purpose
Overview
Everyone has a reason for being here in the physical world. The problem is that many of us aren’t really aware of our true Purpose. Instead, we follow our inner desires and passions (which are often influenced by ego-minds that want us to show up so as to conform to the expectations of the world), and end up in places and situations that we didn’t really have in mind. This is because we were following a default purpose instead of a true spiritual purpose.
In Destiny Point, we dive deep into the concept of Purpose and discover ways to know with conviction why we are really here. Then we take our understanding and apply it to all of our choices, agreements, and commitments going forward.
Situation
Recently, you have been experiencing a kind of aimlessness or pointlessness in your life. You have been questioning yourself and wondering why you are doing a lot of the things you are doing. You are likely noticing thoughts like the following in your mind:
- What is the point of this job | relationship | life | etc.?
- Nothing about my life makes any sense right now.
- I can’t figure out which way I’m supposed to go!
Depending on the frequency and intensity of these thoughts and stories, you may be feeling some hopelessness or despair, or possibly even some mild depression. Your condition may well be related to a disconnection from your Purpose for being.
Recommendation
Having a powerful connection to your Purpose can do wonders for improving your outlook on life. Your Purpose serves as a type of internal navigation system that can guide you in every area of your life; as such, it gives you a way to focus your energy and ensure that everything you think, say, do or feel is aligned in the best direction for your life. Being disconnected from your Purpose is much like turning off your internal navigation system. You end up driving blind, so to speak, which makes it very hard to get where you want to go. In truth, your internal navigation system is never really off-line; you may just be in a situation where you are not paying attention to it.
Reconnecting to your Purpose can be pretty straight-forward.
- Bring awareness to your situation—awareness of what is going on around you and within you. Notice, in particular, all the ways that your behavior is out of alignment with your Purpose.
- Notice whether you have deviated from your Purpose because of any external factors. Are you allowing yourself to be lured away by other things that may seem more interesting? Are you perhaps being manipulated by an unconscious desire to do things that others want you to do, even though you know they aren’t necessarily right for you? Have you perhaps forgotten your Purpose altogether?
- Whatever you discover, be gentle with yourself, and honor yourself for having the courage to be honest with yourself.
- To reconnect to your Purpose, you can do this short visualization. In a seated position with your eyes closed, allow yourself to breathe slowly and gently. As you become more relaxed, see yourself sitting at the top of a hill that allows you to see in all directions. Imagine that the world below you is exactly like the world of your deepest heart’s desire. See the people below interacting with one another in a way that supports your vision of the ideal world. See that everyone’s needs are all met, and that your world is in total harmony. Now, ask yourself this question: What part to I play in creating this world of my dreams? How do I show up to make it a reality? Allow the answers to bubble up into your awareness, knowing that they are written indelibly in your memory. Allow yourself to come back to the present moment.
- Take some time to journal your experience. Write down the words that describe the world of your dreams. These will typically be inspirational adjectives, and you may have many of them. Then write down all the things you saw yourself doing (action words) to bring that world into reality.
The combination of vision and action that you harvest from your visualization is the core of your Purpose for being. Write it down, anchor it into your body, and bring it consciously into your daily life. Let it inform everything you think, say, do or feel from this moment onward.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Easy Do-It-For-You…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…
Alignment Ridge
Integrity
Overview
As we learn in Alignment Ridge, Integrity is a state of being in which our thoughts, words, actions and emotions are all in alignment. Being “in integrity” is a wonderful experience, and most of us know instinctively when we are there. But, as we also learn, Integrity is even more powerful when we synchronize our alignment with our sacred Purpose for being. When we create this kind of alignment, we feel inspired and motivated, perhaps even unstoppable!
No-one is “in integrity” 100% of the time; we all slip-up occasionally. Thankfully, one of the other tools we learn about in Alignment Ridge is Accountability, which enables us to perform some powerful introspection to find out how we got off track, and to create a new commitment to find our way back to our chosen path.
Situation
You will be faced with conditions and circumstances that will put at least two of your commitments in conflict with one another. You will find that you have to make choices that will pull you out of integrity with at least one of these commitments. Because you are a person who highly values integrity, this will cause you a great deal of inner turmoil; you will have difficulty making the necessary choices.
Recommendation
Whenever you have two or more commitments that come into conflict with each other, you are faced with a dilemma: Which commitment do I follow through on, and how do I minimize the damage when I break one of the others?
If you simply choose one commitment and forget about the other(s), then you risk damaging your relationship with the people involved in the broken commitments. This can get worse over time if you allow this sort of thing to happen repeatedly, because then people begin to see you as someone who doesn’t keep his/her word, who can’t be counted on, who “flakes out” and doesn’t follow through. This in turn leads to broken trust, which makes it very hard for people to stay in relationship with you. Most people will accept an apology once or twice, but after that, if there is no change in behavior, your fate is sealed with them.
So, what is the solution? Simple: Negotiation. This is a form of self-accountability because you are acknowledging that you somehow allowed two or more commitments to come into conflict with one another. You are taking responsibility for the choices you made to allow this to happen, and you are asking one or more of the people you committed to for permission to change the terms of the commitment(s).
You could approach the other party (or parties) and say something like the following:
I want to apologize to you because I’ve created a situation in which I have a conflict with the agreement I made with you. I will not be able to complete that commitment in the manner we agreed upon, and I would like to discuss with you how we might be able to re-structure the agreement in a mutually acceptable way.
The other person may not be in a position to modify the existing agreement, so you may have to try this approach with each of the other people involved. Whatever happens, make sure you approach each party with a genuine desire to find a mutually acceptable solution. Even if things don’t quite work out the way you want them to, at least you have made your best effort, preserved your integrity, and reduced the risk of broken trust with those people.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Assetizing…
This card will tell you how things are now…
Base Camp
Awareness
Overview
When you are about to set out on a journey, before you can ever hope to know how to get where you want to go, you must first be very clear about where you are right now. In other words, you must make sure you know as much as possible about your current situation, conditions, environment and circumstances.
This is Awareness, the foundational skill of Life Mastery Way. Because it is so important, we learn about it first at our centering and grounding station, what we call Base Camp. Your objective is to bring Awareness into every aspect of your life and, as much as possible, keep it present in every moment. This means being aware of what is going on in your surroundings, and also within you—that is, your emotions, thoughts and sensations.
Situation
Lately, you have been operating much like a sleep-walker. That is, you have slipped into an unconscious behavior pattern; it may seem as if you are flying on auto-pilot. Obviously, you have not done this deliberately, but you are probably experiencing moments where you think things like these:
- How did I get here? I don’t remember the last 30 minutes.
- I am way off-kilter here; I seem to be bouncing around from one thing to another with no sense of direction.
- I am totally confused and disoriented; I need to get back on track.
Recommendation
It is important to stop whatever you are doing, at least until you can bring more Awareness into your current situation. Find a quiet place where you can sit and relax. Take a few deep cleansing breaths and bring awareness to all aspects of your situation.
External Inventory
Take stock of everything around you, and bring your focus to as many details as possible. Notice the shapes and colors of all objects around you. Notice the temperature of the room or the space. If you are outdoors, take not of the details of the weather conditions. Are there people or animals around, or are you alone? What kind of objects are around you? Just notice as much as you can without making up any story or drawing any judgments or conclusions about any of it.
Internal Inventory
Now bring your attention to your body. Notice any physical sensations that you might be feeling: cold/hot, relaxed/tense, hungry, clammy, shivery, etc. Again, avoid any judgment or interpretation; just take stock.
Next, notice the emotions that you are feeling. Try to limit your words to one of the four primary emotions: sadness, fear, anger, or joy. Is it a strong or weak emotion at this time? How long have you been feeling this emotion? Again, no judgment; just observation.
Finally, bring your attention to your thoughts. What are you thinking? Are your thoughts related to a common theme? Do you notice a judgmental or interpretational quality to your thoughts? How long have these thoughts been present in your mind?
Introspection
Now that you have elevated your awareness about your current internal and external state, take a few moments to see if you can peek under the covers and find out more about how you came to be in this state. Here are a few questions you can ask yourself—remember not to judge yourself for your current state:
- How did I attract my current situation into my life?
- What is the purpose for my current behavior?
- In what ways are my thoughts, words, actions and emotions aligned with my purpose?
- In what ways are they out of alignment?
- Do I wish to change this situation? If so, what new choice will I make?
Final Steps
Once you are complete with this process, take some time to honor yourself for having had sufficient
Awareness to know that you were operating unconsciously, and for having the courage to look inside to find out what was really going on. Notice how you are feeling now, and take this new feeling into the next phase of your life.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Automated Modeling
This card will tell you how things are now…
Nama Station
Forgiveness
Overview
When we are caught up in the dramas of our ego-minds, it is easy for us to fall into the habit of playing the BS Game—that is, the “Blame-Shame Game”. When someone else does something that causes us discomfort, upset or pain, we put ourselves into the role of victim and the other person into the role of perpetrator. In this way, we give all our power away to the perpetrator—who may not even be aware of the fact that s/he has done something “wrong”. In allowing ourselves to slip into this finger-pointing pattern, we often end up creating even more pain and upset for ourselves, while secretly hoping for the other person to suffer.
Nama Station teaches us about the powerful healing capabilities of Forgiveness, a tool whose sole purpose is to give ourselves permission to release ourselves from our own pain and suffering. When we forgive, it really has nothing to do with the so-called perpetrator! It is really all about letting go of something over which we have no control, and—without forgetting or condoning or agreeing with actual bad behavior—releasing ourselves from the prison of our own negative thinking, and reclaiming our power.
Situation
Somebody in your life has said or done something to you that seemed to come from malicious intent, and it has been causing you a lot of internal upset and emotional pain. The event in question happened at some time in the past—perhaps even the distant past—but it continues to haunt you today. The other person has not apologized or taken responsibility for the event, and apparently does not see things the same way you do. Worse, the other person doesn’t seem to recognize or acknowledge the pain that s/he caused you, and this is adding to your ongoing anger and resentment. You find yourself wishing the worst for this person, perhaps even dreaming of violence or retribution.
Whether this situation happened relatively recently or sometime in the more distant past, the fact that you are dwelling on it now is causing you a great deal of discomfort, upset or pain.
Recommendation
First and foremost is Safety. It is assumed in this discussion that you have taken all necessary steps to protect yourself from any potentially dangerous conditions or situations, and that, if appropriate, you have also alerted any law enforcement or other relevant support personnel.
It is important for you to find a way to quiet the voices in your head so that you can return to a grounded, centered state. One of the best ways for you to do this is to Forgive the person who is holding your ego-mind hostage. It may seem like a very difficult task right now, but if you can remember that Forgiveness is not about condoning or forgetting someone else’s behavior, or letting him/her off the hook, and that it is really about giving yourself permission to release yourself from the pain you are creating by keeping the situation alive in your mind, then you will find it much easier to find Forgiveness in your heart—and this will quickly bring healing into your life.
When you are in a safe and quiet place, go through the 5 simple steps below:
- Understand the wrong-doing. What actually happened? Was it done deliberately, or did it happen by accident? Do you know the perptrator’s real intention or motivation, or is that something you are simply making up as part of your ego-mind story? What were the consequences? Which consequences were the direct result of the perpetrator’s actions, and which ones are the result of your own thinking patterns?
- Acknowledge and validate your judgments and feelings. Notice what kinds of thoughts and judgments you have about the perpetrator. Are you attached to “getting even” or finding justice or having your revenge? What do you imagine you might gain by following through on your vengeful thoughts? What are you feeling emotionally about all of this?
- Express and release your emotional energy. Allow yourself to fully experience and express the emotional energy associated with this situation. Some of this energy may be locked in place because of previous attempts to “stuff it”, so give yourself permission to feel it all. Allow it to pass through you so that the pain dissipates and eventually disappears.
- Own your part in the situation. This is not about making yourself wrong for whatever happened; it’s part of the process for raising awareness about your part of the situation. Did you do something that might have triggered the other person’s behavior? Was there a part of you that derived pleasure from pushing the other person’s buttons? Did you do something after the fact to make matters worse? Could you have done anything to improve, mitigate or resolve the situation?
- Re-connect to compassion and unconditional love. After your emotional energy has passed and you have honestly reflected on the whole situation, allow yourself to reconnect naturally and gently to compassion. Find a place of compassion for the other person, who may have been (and may still be) suffering from struggles of his or her own. Find a place of compassion for yourself and whatever struggle you’ve been going through, and release yourself from thoughts of revenge. Give yourself permission to forgive the other person; in the quiet silence of your mind, simply say “I forgive you.” At the same time, give yourself permission to forgive yourself; in your mind imagine that you are speaking to yourself, and say silently “I forgive you.”
You may need to go through this exercise a few times before all of the energy completely dissipates. Remember, the other person does not need to know you are doing this—the exercise is completely for you, and you alone. But do notice how much lighter and more open you feel each time you complete the exercise. Invite and embrace that lightness, and allow it to inform the way you show up going forward.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Cash Pumping In…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…
Sacred Mirror Falls
Identity
Overview
People everywhere experience societal pressure to conform to what others expect of them. We are drilled from a very early age to be nice, to fit in, to put others’ needs ahead of our own, and so on. We are told not to rock the boat, not to make waves. And if by chance we fail to abide by all these rules, then we run the risk of losing someone’s disapproval, or maybe being shunned, or even worse.
Unfortunately, in order to meet the demands of these rules and regulations, we often end up disowning ourselves. We put on masks and costumes in order to appear publicly the way we believe others want to see us. In doing so, our true selves get lost, and we often end up feeling unhappy, disillusioned, depressed or angry.
In Sacred Mirror Falls, you are taken into a deep exploration of Identity—that is, the essence and meaning of who you really are—and how you can maintain your sovereignty and uniqueness while still honoring the protocols that society puts in place.
Situation
You have been going about your business in your usual way, being nice to others, trying to accommodate everyone’s needs, and making sure you don’t make waves. However, you will soon be placed in a situation that will require you to choose between being nice and being real. You will not be able to avoid confrontation or conflict in this situation; you will be faced with the realization that your desire for “smooth sailing” may require you to manhandle your “boat” in ways you have never done before.
Recommendation
If you think of yourself as a “people pleaser”, as someone who defers to almost everyone else in your life, then you may be disowning your sovereignty as a Human Being without realizing it; however, the pain of disowning yourself may be showing up in subtle ways in your life. The time has come for you to reclaim the truth of who you really are, rather than who you think you are, and this will require you to stand in the truth of your own power—even if someone else feels uncomfortable because of it.
The truth is, you have no control over how other people feel or how they react, no matter how much you may believe this. You may have inadvertently deluded yourself into believing that your being nice keeps the peace and makes other people happy. But that’s just an illusion. You cannot make everyone like you, no matter how hard you try; the most you can do is love yourself, and allow that love to flow into the world unconditionally.
You must practice standing your own ground. This does not mean getting into confrontations with people for no reason; it simply means being true to yourself, without compromise, and without apology. You don’t have to be mean about this; you can still maintain a high level of compassion for others and retain your pleasant demeanor. However, when you are faced with a situation that may lead to conflict because someone doesn’t agree with you, you can hold your ground simply by listening to what the other person says—with a desire to deepen your understanding of his/her position. You may find common ground in that understanding—in which case you will likely avoid conflict altogether—but even if you don’t, you can still stand by your own convictions from a place of compassion.
Never compromise the truth of who you are in order to please someone else. The cost to you is much too high.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Awakening
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…
Nama Station
Forgiveness
Overview
When we are caught up in the dramas of our ego-minds, it is easy for us to fall into the habit of playing the BS Game—that is, the “Blame-Shame Game”. When someone else does something that causes us discomfort, upset or pain, we put ourselves into the role of victim and the other person into the role of perpetrator. In this way, we give all our power away to the perpetrator—who may not even be aware of the fact that s/he has done something “wrong”. In allowing ourselves to slip into this finger-pointing pattern, we often end up creating even more pain and upset for ourselves, while secretly hoping for the other person to suffer.
Nama Station teaches us about the powerful healing capabilities of Forgiveness, a tool whose sole purpose is to give ourselves permission to release ourselves from our own pain and suffering. When we forgive, it really has nothing to do with the so-called perpetrator! It is really all about letting go of something over which we have no control, and—without forgetting or condoning or agreeing with actual bad behavior—releasing ourselves from the prison of our own negative thinking, and reclaiming our power.
Situation
Someone in your life will do something that directly impacts you in a negative or malicious or painful way. A person with whom you are personally or professionally involved will do something that violates your boundaries in some way or breaks a trust with you. You will find yourself doing a lot of repair work to clean up the damage, so this situation may also result in damage to your name or your reputation.
Recommendation
Knowing that you are on a collision course with an unpleasant and potentially painful interaction with someone can certainly be unnerving. However, worrying about what might or might not happen in the future is not a very productive (or effective) way to prepare for it. As someone on a path to Life Mastery, you are certainly more interested in living your life in the present moment as much as possible.
So how can you prepare for this kind of event in your life? In a word, Pre-Forgiveness. That’s right, forgiveness in advance. It may sound a little strange, but it is a powerful tool that you can engage any time you find yourself worrying about something that someone in your life might do. Here’s how it works:
- Imagine that you are in the future and the event has already happened, bringing with it whatever discomfort, unpleasantness, or pain it might have contained. Imagine that you have already experienced your reaction or response to the situation and that you understand this person was doing something out of his/her own fear or pain and wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt you.
- Notice how you feel about all that has happened. Just be with the feelings that show up within you and allow them to pass through you.
- Notice any judgments you may have about the other person, and allow them to pass as well.
- Tap into your own powerful sense of compassion, recognize that you too have done things like this that caused pain for others, and begin to feel unconditional love flowing from your heart to the heart of the other person.
- Say the words out loud: “I forgive you”. See yourself offering this gift of forgiveness to the other person, without condition, without expectation of any particular result.
Bring yourself back to the present moment, and notice how you feel now, having actively forgiven this person. Realize that you completed this process without even knowing for sure who the other person might be. There is great power in this Pre-Forgiveness process and you can use it anytime, anywhere. Let this be an ongoing practice for you on your continuing path to Life Mastery.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Igniting…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…
Alignment Ridge
Integrity
Overview
As we learn in Alignment Ridge, Integrity is a state of being in which our thoughts, words, actions and emotions are all in alignment. Being “in integrity” is a wonderful experience, and most of us know instinctively when we are there. But, as we also learn, Integrity is even more powerful when we synchronize our alignment with our sacred Purpose for being. When we create this kind of alignment, we feel inspired and motivated, perhaps even unstoppable!
No-one is “in integrity” 100% of the time; we all slip-up occasionally. Thankfully, one of the other tools we learn about in Alignment Ridge is Accountability, which enables us to perform some powerful introspection to find out how we got off track, and to create a new commitment to find our way back to our chosen path.
Situation
You will be faced with conditions and circumstances that will put at least two of your commitments in conflict with one another. You will find that you have to make choices that will pull you out of integrity with at least one of these commitments. Because you are a person who highly values integrity, this will cause you a great deal of inner turmoil; you will have difficulty making the necessary choices.
Recommendation
Whenever you have two or more commitments that come into conflict with each other, you are faced with a dilemma: Which commitment do I follow through on, and how do I minimize the damage when I break one of the others?
If you simply choose one commitment and forget about the other(s), then you risk damaging your relationship with the people involved in the broken commitments. This can get worse over time if you allow this sort of thing to happen repeatedly, because then people begin to see you as someone who doesn’t keep his/her word, who can’t be counted on, who “flakes out” and doesn’t follow through. This in turn leads to broken trust, which makes it very hard for people to stay in relationship with you. Most people will accept an apology once or twice, but after that, if there is no change in behavior, your fate is sealed with them.
So, what is the solution? Simple: Negotiation. This is a form of self-accountability because you are acknowledging that you somehow allowed two or more commitments to come into conflict with one another. You are taking responsibility for the choices you made to allow this to happen, and you are asking one or more of the people you committed to for permission to change the terms of the commitment(s).
You could approach the other party (or parties) and say something like the following:
I want to apologize to you because I’ve created a situation in which I have a conflict with the agreement I made with you. I will not be able to complete that commitment in the manner we agreed upon, and I would like to discuss with you how we might be able to re-structure the agreement in a mutually acceptable way.
The other person may not be in a position to modify the existing agreement, so you may have to try this approach with each of the other people involved. Whatever happens, make sure you approach each party with a genuine desire to find a mutually acceptable solution. Even if things don’t quite work out the way you want them to, at least you have made your best effort, preserved your integrity, and reduced the risk of broken trust with those people.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).
Focusing…
This card will tell you how things will be in the future…
River of Grace
Flow
Overview
When we come into the physical world, we arrive in a state of sacred flow. We are excited and happy to be in our new surroundings, full of curiosity, and eager to venture onto the path of our adventures. We aren’t troubled by the past or worried about the future; we are simply present in the here-and-now, full of wonder for whatever shows up next.
But soon enough, life happens, and we find ourselves bound and restricted by ever more complicated rules and guidelines and demands. Soon enough, the sacred flow is nowhere to be found, and life becomes more of a struggle and challenge than an adventure.
When we visit River of Grace, we are gently and lovingly reminded of the natural state we arrived in. Here, we learn about Flow—the idea of presence in action—and how we can reclaim it and maintain it in our everyday life.
Situation
You are well aware that something important is going to take place in your life in the next few days or weeks. It is something you have been anticipating with a mixture of excitement and fear. You are worrying about possible negative consequences of this event’s arrival, and obsession with these fearful thoughts makes it difficult for you to stay focused on important things that need your attention right now.
Recommendation
The only two times when nothing can be done are Yesterday and Tomorrow. If you focus your attention on either of them, you are depriving yourself of the gift of Today.
It may well be true that something you have anticipated for a while is soon to appear, and it will bring with it whatever it brings. You can worry about how this event will show up, about how it will impact you, about all the things that could possibly go wrong, yes, you can do all that if you want to. But what is it costing you to concern yourself this way about something that has not yet happened? Wouldn’t you find your life less stressful if you could stop this worrisome future-think?
Bring yourself back to the present, to the here-and-now, and allow yourself to experience what is here right now. Here’s a little trick you can do to help you re-ground yourself:
- Imagine that the event you are anticipating has already arrived, and that everything about it turned out more or less as expected. Notice the relief you feel, and the immediate sense of relaxation that shows up as a result.
- Now, simply allow the event to be a wonderful memory in your mind, something that you can cherish any time you are feeling a little stressed out. Allow this memory to be so important to you that it seems almost like a peak experience.
- Bring the emotional energy if this experience back into the present moment, and notice how you are feeling right now.
Focus your attention on your renewed sense of aliveness, and let that inform all your thoughts, words and actions going forward. Anytime you find yourself slipping back into worry mode, come back to this exercise and let it ground you and bring you back to Flow.
For more information about this topic, please see the full program at Life Mastery Way (and remember the name of your card).